I deserve to eat this.

I deserve to eat this.

As Rachel and I were coming home she told me that she wished in my blogs that I dug in a little deeper like I do at times on facebook about what hard days are. I had planned on doing an introspective blog once a week but missed last week so here it goes.


When i started losing weight a long time ago there was this really simple premise. Eat less and work out more. I didnt really worry about the small things or sweat the big ones. It was a 1-2 punch everyday and that was what worked. If it was tuna with mustand 3x a day or shitty lettuce salads with flavorless dressings. So along the way I became  “runner” which i think my first 5k i was like 280 lbs or something.

So after awhile of being a runner I started to develope this ” i deserve this food” mentality. Now this is still one of my #1 weaknesses as a runner today. I am constantly battling the ” i can have this because i did that” issue. So lets talk the TRUTH about it.

I think when we began to run a lot, crossfit, exercise or whatever it is you do you do have an increase in hunger. I mean i can tell you after lifting an hour or 2 in the gym i can feel the hanger coming on strong. But where I go wrong and i think many people do is that instead of eating exactly what we need to refuel we eat what we want to eat. Once we eat something totally shitty we tell ourselves that we deserved it. I will further dive in and add that I have done the same thing with rewards.

Rewarding ourselves in life with food is a cycle that can lead to damaging results as well. In my own life I have cut out most of the things that I turned to to satisfy my addictions. The only things that are left for me to “abuse” is food and exercise. While most people laugh about abusing exercising I know for a fact I have done it as well. If you are so consumed with weight that you are stuffing down food and then going out to hammer miles just to work the cake off you have a problem.

Food at the end of the day is a source of fuel for our bodies. The hard part is that we need it and we have to have it. So how do we stop this cycle and how do i personally do it.

I think this is the hardest thing for me to do when it comes to lose weight. I think i have 4-6 days in a row where i feel on top of the world. Im killing my diet, my miles and then someone says hey lets make nachos.. Or hey lets go grab a burger. My mind says ” go ahead Rob” you deserve that meal you have been working really hard. My mind says Rob rewards yourself man you are doing really well.

Shortly after the meal comes regret. Regret for eating too much, something completely off base from my diet or indulging too much into something. Shortly after regret the cycle start to form again. Once regret kicks in usually for me its a bit of im a failure mixed in with depression. So then the next day you get up feeling like total shit. You step on the scale and poof back above where you started just like that.

Pretty shitty cycle huh.

So how do we/I fix it? I think the challenge is to look at food differently and associate it in a new way. We should stop using food as a reward for exercising which will help to keep it from being a prize to go get. What if I rewarded my hard work with a charitable action? What if I rewarded myself with a massage or a day at the spa? Those kind of rewards keep my frame of mind correct and away from the cycle.


The other part is deserving food for working out hard or more. For me the only way to combat this is to track my calories and make commitments to eating healthy after runs. Part of the reason i have been pushing a more plant based diet is to eliminate the thoughts of many foods. I work better with either a black or white mentality vs a moderation type approach. I think if you are a person who can moderate foods easily then yours might be just to track what you are eating so that you can moderately consume without overindulging.

Needless to say this will and is the hardest part of exercising a lot and trying to lose weight. I think this is why a lot of runners gain weight while running more than they ever have before. Just because we run 3 hours surely dosent give us the right to knock down 2 plates of food and think we are even. The truth is that if we are trying to be healthy than what we put in our bodies after runs should be just as important as the runs themselves.

Hope this helps someone and just typing it makes me think more on how i can do better on this as well.

Day 16 of 110. #110for110

rob goyen at piney woods

Week 2 and Day 12 of 110% for 110 days

Week 2 and Day 12 of 110% for 110 days

Here we go week 2. Lets talk about the good, the bad and the ugly.

The Good- I crushed my goal this week of exercise and had a great sunday that was fun to end the week with. We had a birthday to celebrate friday night and I stuck to my guns which is usually hard for me. I dont know if i have ever ordered a small pizza but i did with no cheese and skipped on the best fucking desserts ever at desert gallery. Every day I was really active (results below) and overall feel like my eating slowed a bit this week for me.

The Bad- Well without my training plan offering more actual weigh lifting I would rather run than do some of the exercises. I know this isnt great but i need to just stop being a pissy ass and do the work. This is a mental hurdle where i get bored and do what i want. I could have made some better choices sat with my lunch and dinner. My mind wandered back into the i deserve this mentality and I need to prevent this since it can derail a week. I also will admit that i had 2 meals this week that werent vegan. One of which was almost automatic and the 2nd that wasnt. Now i am not pinned down to being vegan at all but i also dont want to say “im vegan” and then lie. it is what it is.

Overall- A good week. I accomplished a lot and learned a lot along the way. This is a process for me to dial this thing in the first 3 weeks and the exercise was really strong and i had 5/7 days go my way. So im not going to beat my self up (like a cycle: my blog post this week) like we always do and be regretful. I am proud of what I did, I accept my failures and Ill come back better.


Below is going to be weight on monday am, exercise stats, goals from last week and new goals.

Starting weight: 221.4 Week 1 216.4 and Week 2 213.0 which is a loss of 3.4 pounds.

Food stats: 15,316 food intake 12,971 outtake so a positive of 2345 calories.

BMR 14252-2345 over outtake leaves 11907/3500 cal per pound=3.40 lbs lost in path. Actual 3.4.

Workout Stats- 53 mile with 21,550 feet of vert. Total hours 18:17 with 3 hours of lifting the rest running/hiking

Fit bit steps- 171,000 for the week average 24,111 a day.


These are last weeks written goals:

  1. Weight- 3.5 lbs this week. Plain and simple. Hard work and less calories this week. (Ended with 3.4) 
  2. Caloric Intake- Avg this week 1900 a day. Its a good transition and I will start doing this more.. (Calorie average per day was 2188″ per day so we need work on this again)
  3. Workout Hours- 15 hours this week and with that at LEAST 5 hours of core/weights/training. So 10 cardio and 5 weights. (overall 18 hours was great but i missed the workouts by 2 hours so still need work)
  4. Steps- For the week 140,000 that would be 20k a day. I think a couple of days I can add in a good incline hike and get there. ( 171k for the week so we did it big and great)
  5. Blogs- 3 blogs this week. Tues Night on How to lose weight aka stopping the lies of marketing, Thursday a recipe and weekend blog on something life related. ( 2 blogs posted and missed the life related one. I will try again for 3 this week)

Week 3 Goals

  1. Weight- 3.0 lbs this week. I will have less time do to race directing and probably be lifting more from the job.
  2. Caloric Intake- We have to get to 1900 this week as we will need to start decrease this about 50-1100 calories per week so the body has to start responding better.
  3. Workout Hours- 15 hours again. I dont could loading/unloading trucks so this one is a longshot but im committed.
  4. Steps- 140k again seems far. I will get a bunch from just race directing so i wont have to grind it out on sunday.
  5. Blogs- 3 this week. Recipe, Lessing Caloric Intake and why and The cycle of failures.

Here is my fitbit if you want to add me https://www.fitbit.com/user/46W392

Here is my strava link which i am going to utilize https://www.strava.com/athletes/3477401

Also if you are reading this and want to follow daily along we started a facebook group that is a bunch of us just trying to motivate each other for these 110 days to meet our goals no matter what they are. https://www.facebook.com/groups/598332186989738/

So here is to week 3. Learn from week 2 and keep my head down. This is a long game and excuses are everywhere.

Great food while you are trying to lose weight

Eat good food and you’ll be happy

I think one huge misconception when you are losing weight is that you have to eat lettuce, nothing and a big bowl of air… Well, I personally think that increasing your exercise and eating quality foods will help a lot more than the starvation way of trying to do this. So for me if I am trying to workout 2-3x a day and kicking ass I want some good food. Now I was vegetarian for 3 years before 2015. In the year of 2015 I went back to eating meat a few times a month and decided at the end of the year  to go vegan for awhile. So I am currently eating vegan and have for a few weeks. But what I have also found is making recipes when you are trying to lose weight will often times be meat absent, lean cuts or use a plant based protein.

BONUS INFO: I try and eat as much anti-inflammatory foods as I can all the time. My knee still is healing and running more miles means more stress on the body. Many of the foods in the recipe promote anti-inflammatory benefits such as turmeric, ginger, cayenne, cinnamon as well as olive oil, pumpkin, garlic and tomatoes.

Before I began the recipe (per my wifes demand..) I want to thank my super amazing wife for finding this amazing recipe and cooking it while I ran for 40 minutes for my last workout. In all honestly Rachel cooks killer meals and she has a knack for finding hella good food like this.

Original Recipe Here http://www.emilieeats.com/chickpea-pumpkin-coconut-curry-vegan/


Recipe type: Main Meal
Prep time: 
Cook time: 
Total time: 
Serves: 4-6
This easy Chickpea Pumpkin Coconut Curry is a delicious, comforting soup for fall and winter and will warm you up from the inside out!
  • Oil for cooking
  • 1 yellow onion, roughly chopped
  • 2 garlic cloves, minced (1 teaspoon)
  • 1 cup carrots, chopped
  • 1 cup tomatoes, chopped
  • 1 15-ounce can pumpkin puree
  • 1½ cups cooked chickpeas, or 1 15-ounce can, drained and rinsed
  • 1 tablespoon curry powder
  • ½ teaspoon ground ginger
  • ½ teaspoon salt
  • ¼ teaspoon black pepper
  • ¼ teaspoon turmeric
  • ¼ teaspoon cinnamon
  • ⅛ teaspoon cayenne pepper
  • 1 13.5-ounce can coconut milk (light or full-fat will work)
  • 1 cup water
  • ½ lime
  1. In a large pot or wok, heat 1 tablespoon oil over medium heat.
  2. Once hot, add the onion. Cook for 3-5 minutes, until onion begins to soften. Add garlic and cook for 1 more minute.
  3. Add the carrots and tomatoes; stir to combine. Add more oil to the pan if necessary. Partially cover the pot; cook for 5-8 minutes, until carrots become slightly tender.
  4. Add the pumpkin, chickpeas, curry powder, ginger, salt, pepper, turmeric, cinnamon, and cayenne pepper. Stir until fully combined.
  5. Pour the coconut milk and water into the pot; mix well.
  6. Bring to a boil, then turn the heat down to let it simmer for 15-20 minutes, until the carrots are fully tender.
  7. Serve over rice, quinoa, buckwheat, or other grain alternative; squeeze a wedge of lime over each serving.

For our recipe Rachel follow the directions exactly and we used Quinoa for the grain of choice. Serving was a cup of Quinoa which is about 220 calories and 1 cup of the curry which is about 220 calories. So for 400ish calories you get a really amazing meal and some great nutrients packed in there.

How to lose weight: The Truth

How to lose weight: The truth

My purpose to writing this part one educational and part two to stop with the excuses that we all like to give ourselves when we are gaining weight or trying to lose it.



Before you begin reading below do me a favor. Click the link right below this and see an amazing couple who lost over 500 lbs. I think it is really important to see someone who just woke up one day and decided ENOUGH was ENOUGH. I am very honored to know this amazing couple personally. http://webeatfat.com/weight-loss-story/


Truth #1 Advice.

The ONLY person who is really accredited in the US to help you is a Registered Dietician. There is no such thing as a health coach, wellness coach, nutritionist (unless an RD), natural nutrition or whatever name people give to make up. Some people may not agree with this but i thought we were telling the truth remember. Registered Dieticians have a masters in nutrition, are regulated and have the experience to help people individually with their issues. If I were someone who was starting a journey I would see a dietician first to express my wants and needs as a program..

Truth #2 Losing Weight is a Numbers Game

You can lose weight eating carrots or snickers it dosent matter.  Plenty of people have proven that you can eat shit and still lose weight if you play the numbers game. Now im not saying this is healthy but I am trying to prove a point. BMR is the Basal Metabolic Rate which is the number of calories that you would burn if you laid in bed all day. For myself lets take me for example at 216 lbs.

So my BMR give or take is 2036 calories a day. That means theoretically if I eat 2036 calories a day I would stay the same weight. Now 1lb of fat is made up of 3500 calories. So if i burn 3500 calories than I can lose 1 pounds of fat from myself.

So lets say monday I eat 2000 calories but run and burn off 750 calories than my net is 1250 for the day.. So that means that i essentially have banked almost 800 calories which is almost 25% of a pound lost in one day.  So the morale of the example is to show you that it is a numbers game no matter what it is. The easiest way to track this is to track your calories daily and hold yourself accountable.

Truth #3 Lifting weights will make you big and you will gain weight.

I lifted the HEAVIEST weight ever while trying to lose weight and i never got big. Actually when i went for my skin removal consult (which I didnt do) he told me I was the best looking person he had seen lose over 150 lbs. I attribute this to losing weight over time and lifting the entire time. Another HUGE benefit to this is that muscle burns more calories than fat does. So the more muscle you have the more your BMR is and EASIER it is to lose weight.

Truth #4 I am big boned, fluffy or natural large.

I know personally when i was 300+ lbs i liked to say all of these things as well. I liked to mask the pain, tell the lies and believe all the crap. But the truth is that being obese is something we did to ourselves not some predestined future.

Last TRUTH… How do I lose weight.

You hold yourself accountable everyday. Even for myself who has lost this much weight and going back for me every meal, every run, every day it all counts. This is a long game and not something you can work off tomorrow. You need to be selfish, you need to sacrifice things and you need to be truth to yourself. Now eating healthy to me and losing weight SHOULD go together but this post is about losing weight.

Finally Lets look at my diary from yesterday which i personally use my fitness pal to track my food. name is rgoyen1040 if you want to add me.

Total calories in 1537′ total calories Eaten and 1803′ calories burned. That puts be in the red of 250 calories plus the 2000 calories that my body uses so almost 2250 so that should move the scaled about 3/4 of a pound in one day.

So there it is a quick and cliff notes version of losing weight. The truth is that diet and exercise for 99% people is all you will ever need to lose weight and gain control of your life. There is a ton of marketing ploys to get you to cleanse, detox, shakes, diet pills…. but its all really a coverup to the truth.

Eat clean, train your ass off and find yourself along the way.

Day 8 of 110 is here and its time for me to put in my 110%.

To join the 110for110 facebook group which is private here it is https://www.facebook.com/groups/598332186989738/

Wanna follow me through strava or facebook here are the links https://www.strava.com/athletes/3477401 https://www.facebook.com/runningrobg

Week 1 and 5 days of 110

Week 1  Day 5 of 110 in the bank.

Its always a fun feeling to be trying to recapture the past of something you have done. I spent over 5 years of my life consistently losing weight to drop the 165lbs that i did. So for some reason this week I kept on thinking that I had to be in that mentality to do this. I found out very quickly that honestly a lot has change since I did this years ago. I get a considerably less amount of sleep, I have 10x the obligations and I am trying to make this a priority in my life.

So I really wanted to document what I was eating,recipes and my thoughts on weight loss during the week it was so face paced for me starting this on a wednesday that I really never caught up at all. Part of the journey is to tell you what failed me this week as well so here goes.

I let some business calls and issues get to me on thursday and it fucked with my head until even today. I am at the core of all of this an emotional eater. So I really had to try and “get through” this week without becoming a shit show. I had some really good workouts this IMG_7396[1]week but got a bit bored thursday and friday which i ended up missing 2 workouts that I could have done. And finally I

And finally I dont sleep enough and i felt super run down thursday, friday and took a huge nap saturday and sunday. While i usually can run for a week or so on 5 hours of sleep a night training 2-3x a day is whipping my ass. So I will start trying to modify my sleep schedule to either throw in a nap during the day or try and go to bed before 2:30-3am which is my normal sleep pattern.




But all in all I worked hard and the proof is in the numbers. My goal was to stay around 2000 calories each day which i did minus friday when i had some torchys so probably hit 2500 that day. I am eating vegan right now which I will get into this week fully and I am not taking anything outside of a multi vitamin or a scoop of protein for a shake.

My stats are



Week 1 Tuesday-Sunday 37.3 miles, 14,017 feet of vertical gain and 4 days of working out, 13h 24 min total working out.Also i did well on my steps with a great average and 3 days over 20k a day. fitbitsteps

Here is my fitbit if you want to add me https://www.fitbit.com/user/46W392

Here is my strava link which i am going to utilize https://www.strava.com/athletes/3477401

Starting weight was 221.4 and I weighed in this morning at 216.4 which is a loss of 5.0 lbs. We are on our way to 173.5 and I am really looking forward to a whole week of working out, documenting it all and seeing how it rolls.

This weeks goals are below:

  1. Weight- 3.5 lbs this week. Plain and simple. Hard work and less calories this week.
  2. Caloric Intake- Avg this week 1900 a day. Its a good transition and I will start doing this more.. ( I will tell you why week 3)
  3. Workout Hours- 15 hours this week and with that at LEAST 5 hours of core/weights/training. So 10 cardio and 5 weights.
  4. Steps- For the week 140,000 that would be 20k a day. I think a couple of days I can add in a good incline hike and get there.
  5. Blogs- 3 blogs this week. Tues Night on How to lose weight aka stopping the lies of marketing, Thursday a recipe and weekend blog on something life related.

Also if you are reading this and want to follow daily along we started a facebook group that is a bunch of us just trying to motivate each other for these 110 days to meet our goals no matter what they are. https://www.facebook.com/groups/598332186989738/

But week 1 is over and the “chips and queso” weight is off. If I am going to stay on track I need to move my ass, continue to eat clean and dont let the shit get in my brain.




110% for 100 days

So here I begin again. Well actually i started this morning when i got back on the scale.

This is me at my highest weight.

This is me at my highest weight.

To tell you where I am today is to remind myself of where i have been in this journey. Ive been 347 lbs 6 years ago, i quit smoking, quit the drugs/alcohol and found trail running. I lost more weight, ran more and eventually finished my 1st ultra. One knee surgery, more weight loss and then a 100 miler. Eventually getting down to about 183 i was essentially running 100 mile weeks on one knee just trying to keep the ball rolling but i couldnt. My knee wouldnt hold much after that and despite finishing another 100 miler it was pretty much toast. So one huge knee surgery in early 2015 and a 51 hour 100 miler finish in 2016 has me finally telling myself to halt..



Now i would love to give you a ton of excuses on why I never reached my goal. You know I could tell you how much stronger I am, i could tell you its because i cant run as much anymore or I can make something really clever up.. But the TRUTH is its all my fault and I am okay with that. So for the past 2 years I have always thought of documenting the struggle that is takes to lose weight and at the same time talk about my life in a semi documentary way. For the past year I have done mini blogs on my facebook page as a way to try and provide my thoughts on some various life situations that I have been in.


So here i stood this morning. Less one knee than ever and tipping the scale at 224. The odds are stacked against me to do it again and finally hit 173.5 that has been my only goal that i never hit. So this is my focus for this year and specifically 110 days. I dont honestly know and or think if i can lose 51 pounds in 110 days but thats not the real point of it all honestly.


The point of the journey is to be honest, transparent and provide real content. The realistic part for my own head is that I need to rehab this knee, take some weight off to help it and come back in June ready to roll. I badly wanted to travel to California to the US Skyrace and Western States in the best shape of my life.

So if you are reading this and are battling the same thoughts of missing a goal feel free to jump on the ship. I would love to have people support each other in the 110 days that start on the 24th of February and Run Until June 12th. I plan on blogging weekly on my journey, posting some recipes, diving into personal items and really trying to use the time to seek clarity.

So here is to Day 1 again. I will document the good, the bad and the truth to show people that anything can be done through discipline.


Here is the secret facebook group i started if you would like to join and chat. https://www.facebook.com/groups/598332186989738/

Why do we weaken women?

I dont often times find myself lead to write much that does not involve by own personal life. I have no problems writing about being abused, an addict or my running adventures along this earth. But for the past month i have been reminded over and over again of this topic that i had been pondering. I know over the past couple of months with me dealing with injury i have been more keen on seeing some things from different angles. So here goes the ramblings that I cant seem to ignore.

I am married to an unbelievable woman that happens to be my wife. One of the greatest things my wife has always told me was that she wanted to be with me, she didnt need to be with me. Thats exactly the kind of woman that I want my wife to be and my future daughter to be one day. I appreciate my wifes ability to be strong both physically and mentally. I enjoy that I can find her unbelievably attractive at the same moment that she is correcting me on something I have done wrong. To me the greatest asset in my life is the attention of my wife.

So I am wondering as Men why we continue to pursue to weaken our women?

I am a race director by trade as well as someone who works within the field of athletics in advertising. When it comes to running, track/field and trail running is inherited that we all wear less clothing than we would if we were going to a wedding or a funeral. Clothing for the most part is limited to exact what we need to have to cover us while we do our best.

So a few years ago I was sitting around a round table of “guys” the topic of who was the hottest member of our club. I am the president of this club and I thought this was the weirdest question. I declined to answer not only as the president but as a husband to my wife. I thought what a stupid ass question.. These are the same women that we are running with on saturday but now we are stripping down them to a vote on how they look…

As time passes it seemed that nothing has changed. A few months back in passing I was asked who was the “hottest” girl I had interviewed. I heard the question and shot back are you “joking”. They looked at me like I was being an asshole and said whats the big deal, why are you mad.  I said how professional is it for me to answer such an ignorant question…

While those instances were in person and completely one on one I have now witnessed where this leads to: the internet.

I spend a great deal of time doing marketing research on facebook, twitter or instagram for our races. I have seen though lately something that is completely  absurd. Something that as a man makes me wonder if this is what our society has become.

It has become apparent that men think they can post whatever they want on females facebook pages without regard to how distasteful , disrespectful or harassing that they want.

As I looked at a page with a well known cross-fit women who posted a picture of her in the gym lifting weights the comments took off..

she would be better off with boobs one said, another chimed in that she had too much clothes on and another said that she looked good from the neck down..  as i read the posts i thought who are these men??

i thought are these husbands, fathers do they have sisters? do they think this is acceptable behavior in life? a few more comments and the athlete posted that she was hurt by the comments and she reads them all.

a few weeks ago another female runner in a picture with a sports bra and a running skirt.. i didnt get more than 5 comments before the disgusting comments began..

a wonder whats under the skirt one said, another commented that he would hit it.. the last one “he has had better”…. i thought how disgusting…

but here is what is worse than the 2 instances that i just gave you that i have seen with my own eyes.. That this kind of predatory mentality that we are allowing is weakening women.

As i have been pondering writing this at all i saw the recent marketing campaign for #runlikeagirl or #likeagirl. It is a campaign used to empower girls and women to run no matter what. While i think the campaign is worthy its equally sad. To me it is really sad that we have made women/girls think that they are unequal in life and that we need a campaign to empower them.

But what I am writing about isnt something new. Women haven’t been treated fairly in track/field, athletics and ultra running through the years. This isn’t something new but it remains the same issue no matter what decade. We have just stopped pulling women off the Boston Marathon and have turned to giving them less prize money. We have gone from behind closed doors objectifying them to openly disgracing them on social media.

I am writing this since if a woman wrote it people would label her a feminist, a bitch or someone looking for attention. So ill speak up for my wife, my future daughter or my beautiful moms.

Men of the world I ask you why do YOU weaken women?

Dont you want a strong wife? Dont you want a strong daughter? Do you think those comments would be received well if that was your daughter?

I am disgusted at how I see so called men act behind closed doors and in the social media eye. What you are doing when you chop away at women is that you weaken what makes them beautiful. You make them feel insecure at their muscles, there bodies and what they are capable of. Our daughters grow up thinking they are less than others because of the bullshit that ignorant people say about them.

And it takes a marketing ploy for us to subliminally remind ourselves that we treat girls inferior to boys.  I mean where is the #runlikeaboy campaign?

There was a recent video made about how we percieve like a girl.. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XjJQBjWYDTs What it clearly shows is that young girls have no clue that like a girl is an insult when you get older. Yet like a girl to anyone older is clearly a weaker way of doing something.

Its about time that the MEN of the world started acting like it. Stop acting like you have no control over your emotions or your sexual impulses in life. Stop using the like a girl as some way to describe something less than or negative. Stop glorifying each other as you consistently harass and demean women in public.

Your disgusting acts will only weaken women, you wife or your daughter in time.



Week 2 and Week 3 of the comeback

As we moved from a great week 1 I was pretty excited to hit week 2.

Week 2 came in like a freight train quickly for me. Rachel and I took a one day vaca on wed to galveston that through me for a loop and the weekend i traded time with friends for things i should have done.  So i always think for me it takes about 3 weeks to really get back into mental shape and physical shape to train. I sprained my left ankle really bad on thursday which led to basically slow, light walking for 3 days. With the combination of light exercise and my lack of resistance to the finer things in life I think i went back up to around 216 in a hurry.  i finished with about 28.5 miles, 9k vert but only about 9 hours of running/cardio.

Week 3

The hardest part for me in the eating right part of life is my schedule. I can remember when i used to wake up at 4am every morning, gym on the way to work. Workout at lunch and usually gym on the way home. I find in my mind that I think those were the great structured days of my life..

My life right now is chaotic at best so my schedule is very crazy at times with me usually sleeping from 2-3a till 8am.. Now with running/training 2-3x a day my body needs more rest but I am having trouble with finding that time as my hours to be right now are precious with TROT.

But i forged on week 3 bad ankle and all. We decided to add in more climbing and less running mileage which was fine by me. I was able to get back into the rhythm of going to the gym and finally also got back into some good deadlift and squat weights.

As with most weeks that define you in weight loss I played from behind from wednesday on. Nothing is more frustrating to me than putting in the work and then not holding yourself accountable for your nutrition to help you. I would say my i was 80% on it this week but I know that to train this much and do it right i need to be 100% dialed in all week. So Sunday i was determined to push past bs and get in 100% mode so the week ended well and i think i am back down to 213.

So the last 2 weeks have been a big struggle after a great week 1. I realize that there is something off with me mentally but I am unable at this time to figure it out. I dont know if there is something underlying that I am unhappy about or if I have let some negative folks lately get the best of me. The goal for this week is to just push through the final week i have in Texas before heading to CA to work. I need a good 100% week to get me back on track and think a week away might be the positive mojo i need in my life.

I had a great week 3 on climbing none the less with 40.35 miles, 20k vert and 1031 min of running/walking. I hit the weights 3x this week and have added some big muscle exercises back in as well.

So here is to week 4 or as I call it week 100%… Just like anything in life worth getting I have to be ready to sacrifice and that will be my mantra this week.



Week 1 of Team Deadhorse

I can remember back when I emailed my coach about trying to run the snowdrop race in 2014. I had asked her for a full i think 12 week program with the usual requests like i always do. she had emailed me back at some point with dont you think we are beating a dead horse? it lit a fire under my ass all the way through snowdrop and even 10 days later when i ran bandera 50k.. yeah i knew i had a torn up knee and my physical limits where being compromised but who really cares..

So here we are week 1 is passed. Overall i could not have been happier with the way my body is feeling and holding up. I find myself already chuckling at pushing myself without the pain of a bad knee. I was just telling Rachel yesterday how fun it is to do 3 workouts a day and not be limited by constant pain..

So i started the week at 216.8 and weight in this morning at 210.4 which means i was down 6.4 lbs for the week. I did get to as low as 207.6 on friday am and i used my cheat meal saturday between runs for indian food and a bucces cinnamon roll.  I have my eyes set on the goal of 173.4 which would be 50% of my original weight when i started losing weight. So we have 37 lbs more to go!!!

Workout stats for the week are as follows i did 3 sessions of weights, about 5 hours of non running cardio and 13 hours of running for a total of 34 miles and 11,000 of vertical climbing.. as you can tell my “running” is very slow and steady.. I am in a program where we are basing my runs on HR which works well for me because i cant really run more than 5 mph right now without discomfort.

But the best part of the week for me has been getting back into the mental groove of loving to train/run and eat healthy. Anything for me when i am trying to lose weight I have to be 100% focused on doing so. As many people will tell you you cannot outrun a crappy diet and more than that you need to eat healthy to run healthy.

I did not expect to lose 6.4 lbs honestly the first week but i have been eating around 1500-2000 calories daily and working out around 2-3 hours a day so its pretty spot in with the amount or work v food i am taking in.

My body felt good this week for the most part. I had to take it easy on some of the lower body training at times and also took it easy on running faster than 4.8 mph at anytime. 2-3x a day i have been rolling to ease the tightness of the glutes, hips and flexors as they have noticed the running. Mainly i am going to stay very aware of what my body is telling me and never push too much.



Over the past 6 years I guess many people have asked me tips on losing weight, what I do etc. Now i first tell people im not a registered dietician like Rachel is but I have some handy tips for a first week back type approach that work for me.

Robs Top 5 Tips

1. Meal Prep- I think most people who are on the go, in/out and trying to eat clean meal prep. For me this is making/slicing food and just having it ready to go in the fridge. So i slice up mushrooms, onion, squash etc and most times have it in a bowl. So i can just grab 2-3 cups through it on the skillet and start the base. I also pre make fish, tofu or have something like an epic bar handy if i choose.

2. Water is your friend. Water all day everyday. I am someone who LOVES diet sodas but i limit them and hit the water. A fresh lemon, a no calorie packet or something to help me focus on water intake is key.

3. 10 minute rule. This is more of a theory but it works well for me. Once you are hungry you have about 10 minutes to get something cooking or in your sight before you mind wonders. Meaning if i sit long enough after im hungry my mind will start thinking of pizza, chips and queso etc.. Now there is NOTHING wrong with those items but we are trying to drop some LBS so those have to be either healthy made or my cheat meal..

4. Once a week cheat meal. Now there are some people who think these arent good and whatever to them. Once a week i want something that is amazing. It helps me warrant off cravings and it helps to throw you body off as well. So once a week schedule in some of that pepperoni pizza and a slice of cheesecake..  I like to do it after my saturday long run when i am wanting some quality grub.

5. Get off your ass. If you are trying to lose weight than you have to get moving.. If its a class, the weights, walking, yoga etc this has to be a focus for you. More muscle means more calories burned so you have to start building lean muscle asap. An easy way for me to do this is to get up and get out. Get a good sweat in the morning, maybe one at lunch if you can and get one at night.. But the key to the equation is to just constantly be thinking of how can I move. Most people find excuses why they cant do this and that… Your mindset should always be finding way TO move and TO fit it in..

So this day 1 of week 2. My training should stay the same this week so I expect more of the same lower intensity HR workouts and kicking ass. I started this morning with a 3 mile walk with my family and Team RWB for memorial day for my day off.


well here goes the dynamite.

You know i would be lying to anyone as to tell them how much fun the last 3 months have been. They have sucked. I wore out my positive playlist everyday just trying to remain un bitter about my condition.

But the truth was that I was insanely negative in the process which I regretted. There was this envious disdain as I watched others run and i tried to remind myself daily that this would all be over with.

I have done my best to remain positive in the process, to do what I could emotionally to remain calm and just to keep pressing on. The one thing that stayed consistent was training daily. No matter how shitty the mood i still did my required PT and then some. I knew that if i could muster 2 hours or 3 a day that i would get the chance to come back sooner than ever.

Many people shortly after surgery asked well what kind of surgery did you have. I tried to explain AOTS surgery and what it meant probably 100x. The easiest explanation is that they drilled holes in my knee/bone and put the core in other parts of my knee that needed it. This was my only option if i didnt want a knee replacement at 36. And to top it off there was no guarantees that it would work or fix the issues that I had.. But it was better than hobbling around in pain for one more race.  Below you can see a great picture of some of the holes they drilled in my bones and plugged them up as well.


As the past few months have slowly dragged on I was beginning to see the difference that not running also played a role in my life. I took the opportunity to a break for a few week right after surgery and then started back lifting high volume weights. I have never lifted 5 days a week 2 hours a day but it was the only thing that I could do to make exercise make sense. What I also didnt realize is that i would put on mass because of lifting this way and the no cardio deal would irritate me more. While I am stronger than I have ever been as a person I also hated watching my weight slowly climb up because of it.

So about a month ago on my last doctors visit I came in to the office. He asked me how i felt and I told him that I felt like i was a caged horse ready to run. He asked me had i been training and I said yes. I told him that I had done a week full of treadmill vert and that the knee felt good and swelled only a bit. My doctor said well then i guess we can skip the walking part of the program then… He told me that due to the fact that I had done the PT work above and beyond that it was going to pay off now.

IMG_8282[1]I was relieved to hear that something was going my way in recovery since I really felt so jaded and alone at times in the process. With good news in hand I came home. I told Rachel that I was ready to take this f*cking scare they gave me and make it something fun. So i called my friend and said lets make some art today.. A few minutes later we turned that scar into some fun (thanks Mike C).

So after a couple weeks of climbing and walking i decided to make the decision to set my sights on some goals. There are some things that I have been chasing for a couple of years now that I never accomplished. Most of those were so close to my reach but I was always battling this shit ass knee and wasnt able to get those goals. But with 2 good knees I am ready to set the goals and start to knock them down.

This is me at my highest weight.

This is me at my highest weight.

I feel like the poster guy at times for people who battle obesity and run races. This is probably why i love race directing races as I see the true joy in what happens when you trail run. I think this year will be the 6th anniversary ( maybe 7) in september of when i weighed over 347 lbs. I never thought it would be me who would fall in love with running as a way to cope with being an addict but im glad i did.

So I am going back after my weight goals that I was so close to 2 years ago. But i am going to force myself to document it all this time as a way to be honest with myself and also encourage others to go after their dreams. Below is the goals list and the obligation list as well.

Todays weight 216.8 goal weight 173.4 which would be 50% of my body weight at highest. That means thats 43.4 lbs to lose. Even me looking at that number is like holy moses how did i ever get so far from 180s when i was running 100 mile weeks. I might be stronger than ever but I would love to see what this machine can do with 2 knees in the 170s.

WIth the dreams come the program. I have asked a good buddy of mine John Sharpe to write me a program till the end of the year that focuses on my needs. I cant really run right now with much intensity so this will be a great program for building stability in my body and also HR determined efforts. I am looking forward to the opportunity to working with John for the program.

1st Goal Race North Face Endurance Challenge Park City Utah Sept 26th-27th part of the Hatr-cation

2nd Goal Race Snowdrop Foundation 55 hour race 150 miles. I have done 107 both years in about 30 hours on one knee hobbling around so I want to give it all i have.

I am going to blog about this every monday after i weigh in. I am going to tell everyone my training, my diet and my thoughts as well. Even if I dont feel like it or I have a shit week i am going to use the blog to hold myself accountable for what is the truth..

As i write this I am encouraged, excited and elated to be back mentally. The physical part will come back slowly and with a ton of sacrifice on my part. But for me my mindset will always be the most important weapon that I have for defeating any task at hand.

I encourage anyone who is reading this to follow the blog and to challenge themselves to find the best version of themselves this year.

Since i started running ultras back in 2012 i have always had to do it on one knee. I am really excited to see what will happen when i get  a chance to do it with 2.