Starting Over again..

Why now and why again?

 

I dont know. I am as a person exhausted. I have for probably 2.5 years put business in front of everything. This is an acceptable trade off and always has been until its not.

My health and especially my knee’s health has over the past 6 months take a turn for the worse. I have essentially learned how to drive left footed with a stick, figured out a way to hobble a 100 miler in 53 hours and now do my job on one leg.. But there is one huge fking problem with all of that.. Im exhausted.

Just tying the words that Im tired makes me feel like a quitter. But for me the options are plain and also quite simple. The time is now to start back at square 1. Square 1 for me means that I have to start to work on myself as a person. It means that I have to push myself back into the cave and figure out what I want.

I have always loved the challenges for me personally that engage my body, my mind and soul. I think when you are trying to better yourself that having an equal plan for all of those is incredibly important. So for me there are some really cool ideas that I have that I want to try. Some to fk with my own self, some to show gratitude and some to show support.

I have had the incredible opportunity to speak to so many people who have battled some of the same demons I have in my lifetime. While I enjoy getting to talk about those things I also hate not feeling like I am personally 100%. Some of that is because of my knee, some of that is that I have been head down focused on work and some of that is I need to push myself to show gratitude.

So starting last week I have been challenging myself to meditate for 10 min a day. While i have no CLUE what I am doing in my own head space I am going to continue to do this for 6 months. I want to use this as a mental practice to control my mind ( i mean try to) to push toward the successes I am looking for.

So today is my first blog post back. I am without a doubt “fearing” starting to blog again. While i have plenty to write about at times I also have had a wonderful history of not blogging when my schedule dosent see fit.. And that means either failing at a goal or not doing shit. Both of which are shit excuses. So here we go. Im updating this every week on monday no matter if the week was a shit show or the greatest week of my life.

I am looking forward to putting the week out there and getting it done.

Goals for the week- (5)

All days monday- sunday will be clean eating.. Sunday night will be my exception for the post lonestar 100. I will document cals in/out and weight on monday.

10 min meditation will commence for the entire week at some point during the day.

I will schedule my knee appt this week (which i dont want to do)

I will schedule a torment thursday (this will be horrible will be 2.16)

I will make a cement schedule on attempting a 100mile row attempt.

so here we go again.. as I would tell my brazos bend 100 runners. time to burn the fucking boats.

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