Week 3 and Week 4

Losing momentum.

 

The last 2 weeks have really thrown my plans into a wreck. I would love to be posting how much awesome it was to conquer these weeks despite all the surroundings but that isnt the case. There is some good in the past 2 weeks which I will go over put there are some patterns that have to be fixed in short notice.

I really want to give you this long post about the past 2 weeks and give you all these things that make it seem better than it is. I feel like i am so ready to write a great blog about the silver lining.. But in my heart thats bullshit.

 

The truth is that for the past week despite waking up at my lowest at 211 the sunday before I blew the week. Plain and simple. It took me a couple of days to get rested from race directing and we had our son here from spring break. I really in my mind have cracked when it comes to the pressure of what others want. When others say they want dessert or pizza or sushi etc i have been toeing the line instead of refusing. For me toeing the line will always lead to failure and I know that. So this week was me trying to “fake it till i felt it”‘. I was banking on 2 long days of running sat/sunday to get me right and of course that is failure plan 101.

Taking days of accountability away and saying you will gain them back is a suckers game and I was the sucker this week. I was tired, rundown and honestly didnt sleep nearly enough. I have been napping, food grazing and not being mindful at all. So 2 things are going to happen this morning when i weight myself..

 

im gonna look at the number and remember how it got there or im going to feel sorry for myself and let it eat me up again..

We are day 27 of 110. And if the 211 held true i was 13 lbs down. Which is about 1/3rd of what i wanted to lose. So we arent in dire straights here but we are in the middle of the road where I need to getting better at this not throwing away weeks to shit i no better about.

I would normally set all of these huge goals for this week to motivate me and push me but i think this is a get back on the horse week. I need to just take it day by day again act like its day 1 when it all meant the world to me.

It sucks to be back in the cycle honestly. I recently say last year in august i was 214. for me another reminder that i really need to be working on the  6 inches between my ears more than anything.

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