I dont often times find myself lead to write much that does not involve by own personal life. I have no problems writing about being abused, an addict or my running adventures along this earth. But for the past month i have been reminded over and over again of this topic that i had been pondering. I know over the past couple of months with me dealing with injury i have been more keen on seeing some things from different angles. So here goes the ramblings that I cant seem to ignore.
I am married to an unbelievable woman that happens to be my wife. One of the greatest things my wife has always told me was that she wanted to be with me, she didnt need to be with me. Thats exactly the kind of woman that I want my wife to be and my future daughter to be one day. I appreciate my wifes ability to be strong both physically and mentally. I enjoy that I can find her unbelievably attractive at the same moment that she is correcting me on something I have done wrong. To me the greatest asset in my life is the attention of my wife.
So I am wondering as Men why we continue to pursue to weaken our women?
I am a race director by trade as well as someone who works within the field of athletics in advertising. When it comes to running, track/field and trail running is inherited that we all wear less clothing than we would if we were going to a wedding or a funeral. Clothing for the most part is limited to exact what we need to have to cover us while we do our best.
So a few years ago I was sitting around a round table of “guys” the topic of who was the hottest member of our club. I am the president of this club and I thought this was the weirdest question. I declined to answer not only as the president but as a husband to my wife. I thought what a stupid ass question.. These are the same women that we are running with on saturday but now we are stripping down them to a vote on how they look…
As time passes it seemed that nothing has changed. A few months back in passing I was asked who was the “hottest” girl I had interviewed. I heard the question and shot back are you “joking”. They looked at me like I was being an asshole and said whats the big deal, why are you mad. I said how professional is it for me to answer such an ignorant question…
While those instances were in person and completely one on one I have now witnessed where this leads to: the internet.
I spend a great deal of time doing marketing research on facebook, twitter or instagram for our races. I have seen though lately something that is completely absurd. Something that as a man makes me wonder if this is what our society has become.
It has become apparent that men think they can post whatever they want on females facebook pages without regard to how distasteful , disrespectful or harassing that they want.
As I looked at a page with a well known cross-fit women who posted a picture of her in the gym lifting weights the comments took off..
she would be better off with boobs one said, another chimed in that she had too much clothes on and another said that she looked good from the neck down.. as i read the posts i thought who are these men??
i thought are these husbands, fathers do they have sisters? do they think this is acceptable behavior in life? a few more comments and the athlete posted that she was hurt by the comments and she reads them all.
a few weeks ago another female runner in a picture with a sports bra and a running skirt.. i didnt get more than 5 comments before the disgusting comments began..
a wonder whats under the skirt one said, another commented that he would hit it.. the last one “he has had better”…. i thought how disgusting…
but here is what is worse than the 2 instances that i just gave you that i have seen with my own eyes.. That this kind of predatory mentality that we are allowing is weakening women.
As i have been pondering writing this at all i saw the recent marketing campaign for #runlikeagirl or #likeagirl. It is a campaign used to empower girls and women to run no matter what. While i think the campaign is worthy its equally sad. To me it is really sad that we have made women/girls think that they are unequal in life and that we need a campaign to empower them.
But what I am writing about isnt something new. Women haven’t been treated fairly in track/field, athletics and ultra running through the years. This isn’t something new but it remains the same issue no matter what decade. We have just stopped pulling women off the Boston Marathon and have turned to giving them less prize money. We have gone from behind closed doors objectifying them to openly disgracing them on social media.
I am writing this since if a woman wrote it people would label her a feminist, a bitch or someone looking for attention. So ill speak up for my wife, my future daughter or my beautiful moms.
Men of the world I ask you why do YOU weaken women?
Dont you want a strong wife? Dont you want a strong daughter? Do you think those comments would be received well if that was your daughter?
I am disgusted at how I see so called men act behind closed doors and in the social media eye. What you are doing when you chop away at women is that you weaken what makes them beautiful. You make them feel insecure at their muscles, there bodies and what they are capable of. Our daughters grow up thinking they are less than others because of the bullshit that ignorant people say about them.
And it takes a marketing ploy for us to subliminally remind ourselves that we treat girls inferior to boys. I mean where is the #runlikeaboy campaign?
There was a recent video made about how we percieve like a girl.. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XjJQBjWYDTs What it clearly shows is that young girls have no clue that like a girl is an insult when you get older. Yet like a girl to anyone older is clearly a weaker way of doing something.
Its about time that the MEN of the world started acting like it. Stop acting like you have no control over your emotions or your sexual impulses in life. Stop using the like a girl as some way to describe something less than or negative. Stop glorifying each other as you consistently harass and demean women in public.
Your disgusting acts will only weaken women, you wife or your daughter in time.