Day 37of 110. Finding the groove.

Finding the groove.


As I sit here i think of everything that I could have done better the last 37 days. My weight for the most part the last 3 weeks has stayed within 211-209 last weekend. While that is a slow success I also have been in a funk the past few weeks.

I have basically every weekend tried to will myself to greatness but my head hasnt been in the game. Some of this is/was a bunch of negatives that I let affect me and some of it was feeling like i couldnt get in a groove. For me when I am in this battle I hate surprises and I know I am really good with a structured schedule.

Lately the schedule has been highly erratic and I haven’t done the best with going with the flow. But in the last few days I was able to kind of clear my mind, have some great meetings with people I trust and walk myself in off that ledge.

So here are some tips that help me to get out of a funk or get back in my groove.

  1. Take some meetings with people who you care about or are partners.
  2. Set aside an hour to read, meditate or do something in silence.
  3. Watching Motivational Videos. I am a geek when it comes to watching motivational videos it kind of lights a fire undernath me. My favorites are and
  4. Write about it. Rather that be a blog like this, a facebook post with content or on something like
  5. Be honest with where you are right then.. For me this is always the last day before I can find clarity..

As the road over the past few weeks has felt like forever it wasnt. It has simply been a time where I have been battling in the zone and I havent been able to pop my head up and breath.

So here we are the last 2 days I have found myself being kind, feeling confident and on the ball. I am excited to push forward, get to a new level and continue to document it all.

110% for 110 days

Bagging for Tips

Bagging for Tips

While i was recently in the local Kroger getting some groceries I overheard a couple of the baggers chatting about too many sackers, not enough people to take out and how they were short staffed on certain days. I was reflecting back on my days of hustling for tips and the data that i used to collect to get the most.

I started at a local grocery named Foodarama the day i was 16 which would have been in november of that year. I worked there for about 7 months then in late may i ended up taking another job at a bigger grocery store Randall’s since the other store wouldnt give me more than 40 hours.

But this article is more of a fun reflection of me remembering all of the things i used to do to get tips and make money while doing it. Obviously if you have a child that is a bagger, you are a bagger or you are about to these tips will help you get paid and out smart many doing the same job.

#1 Tip- Collect data for everything. I know when i used to bag groceries i used to split all of my sheet into 1 hour blocks. So lets say i was working 7 hours with the break. I would have all of the hours written down before i started and be watching how much i was bringing in tips on the hours. I remember i used to shoot for $5 an hour and usually got it. But that was also after tracking months of tips and adjusting my schedule to fit those hours.

#2 Be Prepared- I ALWAYS had at least $20 in 1s in my pocket before I ever started my shift. Everytime you take out a cart and then have a 5, 10 or 20 you would lose that game. I had a 3 second rule where if i was putting groceries in and was done I could see them fidgeting in their purse. I would say ” do you need change”… When they said yes.. I would look to see the bill normally a $5 and i would say do you want 2 or 3 dollars back… If you read between those lines than you realize i am getting a 2-3 dollar tips vs me ASKING how much change they want which would have been $4 back and a $1 tip…

#3 Keep moving- When i was a bagger I was always trying to engage the customer from the get go. I would ask them how are you doing? paper of plastic etc.. But once the bagging started I would purposely look out for items such as breads, eggs or other breakable items. Asking a customer would you like this bagged separate would also be a quick smile from them. I also realized that i didnt have a lot of time to get on the good side quick. Once the bags hit the cart I would start to push it towards the door. If even if the customer was on the fence at this point I was already taking them out anyways… Now in the event that a customer would say no thats okay… I would say ” i dont mind its okay if you dont tip”…. this plays on a persons psyche. They are like damn i have to tip him or they feel bad. Either way im taking them out and im ready to win…

#4 Running Mate- This was my key to making money at Foodarama. When i started there i was the only caucasian working in the front of the building and a large majority of our clients were not caucasian. Now I tell you that because the first 2-3 months nothing worked for me to get tips in this place. I remember making like $1 an hour where as others were getting 3-5$ an hour. I began to actual mark down which races would tip me and wouldnt. Shortly after I had a friend who worked there who was african american. He commented on how white people didnt tip him and i felt the same on other races. We agreed to work together and would pass off various races to each other to make it work. Shortly after our plan worked and we both profited greatly by profiling our clients.

#5 Remember your big tippers- When i worked at Randalls we had a pretty good clientele that would come in and spend quite a bit. We had a fair share of local athletes, ball players and people who were pretty wealthy I made a point to always track these folks and remember their faces. The important part of that was that I would get them when they would walk in the door and i would call them by name. So for instance as soon as I would recognize a person coming in I would greet them and Say welcome back Mrs Smith, anything i can help you with? More ofthen than not they might need some quick help or getting 40ln dog food etc.. The truth is that when you take care of people like that when they come up to the register they could request you to take their bags out. So taking 5 minutes out of the day was worth the $5 tip over the average.

#6 Keep the Kids Happy Get tips- I used to always have some dum dums in my pockets when I worked early shifts especially. What I always knew is that once the kids where on the other side of their parents they started fussing. The more they fussed the more the parents would want to just get the heck out of the store which lowered my chances of getting a cart out. As soon as I saw a kid with them i would say can they have a sucker? When they said yes and thank you all parties were happy. Happy Kids meant i was taking a cart out looking like a grocery hero.

#7 Stalking the dog food/cat food aisles- When the morning would start slow the “old guys” would stand around and talk about coffee or sports or anything else… There was always like 6 guys that were just gearing up for every cart available. They were grizzled and rarely let you in until the traffic became heavy. Well i started just checking out the 3 heavy item aisles. I would walk them and wait for something who needed some help getting items. Big bag of dog food, laundry detergent or something big. By helping them on the floor I would tell them when you come up to the front ask for me and I will put this in your car for you. So despite the old man land bridge I was always able to get some cart out before the rushes.

So there ya go on my tips on bagging groceries and making money doing it. I always really enjoyed bagging groceries, hustling for tips and crushing my friends on our nightly tip contests.

Week 3 and Week 4

Losing momentum.


The last 2 weeks have really thrown my plans into a wreck. I would love to be posting how much awesome it was to conquer these weeks despite all the surroundings but that isnt the case. There is some good in the past 2 weeks which I will go over put there are some patterns that have to be fixed in short notice.

I really want to give you this long post about the past 2 weeks and give you all these things that make it seem better than it is. I feel like i am so ready to write a great blog about the silver lining.. But in my heart thats bullshit.


The truth is that for the past week despite waking up at my lowest at 211 the sunday before I blew the week. Plain and simple. It took me a couple of days to get rested from race directing and we had our son here from spring break. I really in my mind have cracked when it comes to the pressure of what others want. When others say they want dessert or pizza or sushi etc i have been toeing the line instead of refusing. For me toeing the line will always lead to failure and I know that. So this week was me trying to “fake it till i felt it”‘. I was banking on 2 long days of running sat/sunday to get me right and of course that is failure plan 101.

Taking days of accountability away and saying you will gain them back is a suckers game and I was the sucker this week. I was tired, rundown and honestly didnt sleep nearly enough. I have been napping, food grazing and not being mindful at all. So 2 things are going to happen this morning when i weight myself..


im gonna look at the number and remember how it got there or im going to feel sorry for myself and let it eat me up again..

We are day 27 of 110. And if the 211 held true i was 13 lbs down. Which is about 1/3rd of what i wanted to lose. So we arent in dire straights here but we are in the middle of the road where I need to getting better at this not throwing away weeks to shit i no better about.

I would normally set all of these huge goals for this week to motivate me and push me but i think this is a get back on the horse week. I need to just take it day by day again act like its day 1 when it all meant the world to me.

It sucks to be back in the cycle honestly. I recently say last year in august i was 214. for me another reminder that i really need to be working on the  6 inches between my ears more than anything.

I deserve to eat this.

I deserve to eat this.

As Rachel and I were coming home she told me that she wished in my blogs that I dug in a little deeper like I do at times on facebook about what hard days are. I had planned on doing an introspective blog once a week but missed last week so here it goes.


When i started losing weight a long time ago there was this really simple premise. Eat less and work out more. I didnt really worry about the small things or sweat the big ones. It was a 1-2 punch everyday and that was what worked. If it was tuna with mustand 3x a day or shitty lettuce salads with flavorless dressings. So along the way I became  “runner” which i think my first 5k i was like 280 lbs or something.

So after awhile of being a runner I started to develope this ” i deserve this food” mentality. Now this is still one of my #1 weaknesses as a runner today. I am constantly battling the ” i can have this because i did that” issue. So lets talk the TRUTH about it.

I think when we began to run a lot, crossfit, exercise or whatever it is you do you do have an increase in hunger. I mean i can tell you after lifting an hour or 2 in the gym i can feel the hanger coming on strong. But where I go wrong and i think many people do is that instead of eating exactly what we need to refuel we eat what we want to eat. Once we eat something totally shitty we tell ourselves that we deserved it. I will further dive in and add that I have done the same thing with rewards.

Rewarding ourselves in life with food is a cycle that can lead to damaging results as well. In my own life I have cut out most of the things that I turned to to satisfy my addictions. The only things that are left for me to “abuse” is food and exercise. While most people laugh about abusing exercising I know for a fact I have done it as well. If you are so consumed with weight that you are stuffing down food and then going out to hammer miles just to work the cake off you have a problem.

Food at the end of the day is a source of fuel for our bodies. The hard part is that we need it and we have to have it. So how do we stop this cycle and how do i personally do it.

I think this is the hardest thing for me to do when it comes to lose weight. I think i have 4-6 days in a row where i feel on top of the world. Im killing my diet, my miles and then someone says hey lets make nachos.. Or hey lets go grab a burger. My mind says ” go ahead Rob” you deserve that meal you have been working really hard. My mind says Rob rewards yourself man you are doing really well.

Shortly after the meal comes regret. Regret for eating too much, something completely off base from my diet or indulging too much into something. Shortly after regret the cycle start to form again. Once regret kicks in usually for me its a bit of im a failure mixed in with depression. So then the next day you get up feeling like total shit. You step on the scale and poof back above where you started just like that.

Pretty shitty cycle huh.

So how do we/I fix it? I think the challenge is to look at food differently and associate it in a new way. We should stop using food as a reward for exercising which will help to keep it from being a prize to go get. What if I rewarded my hard work with a charitable action? What if I rewarded myself with a massage or a day at the spa? Those kind of rewards keep my frame of mind correct and away from the cycle.


The other part is deserving food for working out hard or more. For me the only way to combat this is to track my calories and make commitments to eating healthy after runs. Part of the reason i have been pushing a more plant based diet is to eliminate the thoughts of many foods. I work better with either a black or white mentality vs a moderation type approach. I think if you are a person who can moderate foods easily then yours might be just to track what you are eating so that you can moderately consume without overindulging.

Needless to say this will and is the hardest part of exercising a lot and trying to lose weight. I think this is why a lot of runners gain weight while running more than they ever have before. Just because we run 3 hours surely dosent give us the right to knock down 2 plates of food and think we are even. The truth is that if we are trying to be healthy than what we put in our bodies after runs should be just as important as the runs themselves.

Hope this helps someone and just typing it makes me think more on how i can do better on this as well.

Day 16 of 110. #110for110

rob goyen at piney woods

Week 2 and Day 12 of 110% for 110 days

Week 2 and Day 12 of 110% for 110 days

Here we go week 2. Lets talk about the good, the bad and the ugly.

The Good- I crushed my goal this week of exercise and had a great sunday that was fun to end the week with. We had a birthday to celebrate friday night and I stuck to my guns which is usually hard for me. I dont know if i have ever ordered a small pizza but i did with no cheese and skipped on the best fucking desserts ever at desert gallery. Every day I was really active (results below) and overall feel like my eating slowed a bit this week for me.

The Bad- Well without my training plan offering more actual weigh lifting I would rather run than do some of the exercises. I know this isnt great but i need to just stop being a pissy ass and do the work. This is a mental hurdle where i get bored and do what i want. I could have made some better choices sat with my lunch and dinner. My mind wandered back into the i deserve this mentality and I need to prevent this since it can derail a week. I also will admit that i had 2 meals this week that werent vegan. One of which was almost automatic and the 2nd that wasnt. Now i am not pinned down to being vegan at all but i also dont want to say “im vegan” and then lie. it is what it is.

Overall- A good week. I accomplished a lot and learned a lot along the way. This is a process for me to dial this thing in the first 3 weeks and the exercise was really strong and i had 5/7 days go my way. So im not going to beat my self up (like a cycle: my blog post this week) like we always do and be regretful. I am proud of what I did, I accept my failures and Ill come back better.


Below is going to be weight on monday am, exercise stats, goals from last week and new goals.

Starting weight: 221.4 Week 1 216.4 and Week 2 213.0 which is a loss of 3.4 pounds.

Food stats: 15,316 food intake 12,971 outtake so a positive of 2345 calories.

BMR 14252-2345 over outtake leaves 11907/3500 cal per pound=3.40 lbs lost in path. Actual 3.4.

Workout Stats- 53 mile with 21,550 feet of vert. Total hours 18:17 with 3 hours of lifting the rest running/hiking

Fit bit steps- 171,000 for the week average 24,111 a day.


These are last weeks written goals:

  1. Weight- 3.5 lbs this week. Plain and simple. Hard work and less calories this week. (Ended with 3.4) 
  2. Caloric Intake- Avg this week 1900 a day. Its a good transition and I will start doing this more.. (Calorie average per day was 2188″ per day so we need work on this again)
  3. Workout Hours- 15 hours this week and with that at LEAST 5 hours of core/weights/training. So 10 cardio and 5 weights. (overall 18 hours was great but i missed the workouts by 2 hours so still need work)
  4. Steps- For the week 140,000 that would be 20k a day. I think a couple of days I can add in a good incline hike and get there. ( 171k for the week so we did it big and great)
  5. Blogs- 3 blogs this week. Tues Night on How to lose weight aka stopping the lies of marketing, Thursday a recipe and weekend blog on something life related. ( 2 blogs posted and missed the life related one. I will try again for 3 this week)

Week 3 Goals

  1. Weight- 3.0 lbs this week. I will have less time do to race directing and probably be lifting more from the job.
  2. Caloric Intake- We have to get to 1900 this week as we will need to start decrease this about 50-1100 calories per week so the body has to start responding better.
  3. Workout Hours- 15 hours again. I dont could loading/unloading trucks so this one is a longshot but im committed.
  4. Steps- 140k again seems far. I will get a bunch from just race directing so i wont have to grind it out on sunday.
  5. Blogs- 3 this week. Recipe, Lessing Caloric Intake and why and The cycle of failures.

Here is my fitbit if you want to add me

Here is my strava link which i am going to utilize

Also if you are reading this and want to follow daily along we started a facebook group that is a bunch of us just trying to motivate each other for these 110 days to meet our goals no matter what they are.

So here is to week 3. Learn from week 2 and keep my head down. This is a long game and excuses are everywhere.

Great food while you are trying to lose weight

Eat good food and you’ll be happy

I think one huge misconception when you are losing weight is that you have to eat lettuce, nothing and a big bowl of air… Well, I personally think that increasing your exercise and eating quality foods will help a lot more than the starvation way of trying to do this. So for me if I am trying to workout 2-3x a day and kicking ass I want some good food. Now I was vegetarian for 3 years before 2015. In the year of 2015 I went back to eating meat a few times a month and decided at the end of the year  to go vegan for awhile. So I am currently eating vegan and have for a few weeks. But what I have also found is making recipes when you are trying to lose weight will often times be meat absent, lean cuts or use a plant based protein.

BONUS INFO: I try and eat as much anti-inflammatory foods as I can all the time. My knee still is healing and running more miles means more stress on the body. Many of the foods in the recipe promote anti-inflammatory benefits such as turmeric, ginger, cayenne, cinnamon as well as olive oil, pumpkin, garlic and tomatoes.

Before I began the recipe (per my wifes demand..) I want to thank my super amazing wife for finding this amazing recipe and cooking it while I ran for 40 minutes for my last workout. In all honestly Rachel cooks killer meals and she has a knack for finding hella good food like this.

Original Recipe Here


Recipe type: Main Meal
Prep time: 
Cook time: 
Total time: 
Serves: 4-6
This easy Chickpea Pumpkin Coconut Curry is a delicious, comforting soup for fall and winter and will warm you up from the inside out!
  • Oil for cooking
  • 1 yellow onion, roughly chopped
  • 2 garlic cloves, minced (1 teaspoon)
  • 1 cup carrots, chopped
  • 1 cup tomatoes, chopped
  • 1 15-ounce can pumpkin puree
  • 1½ cups cooked chickpeas, or 1 15-ounce can, drained and rinsed
  • 1 tablespoon curry powder
  • ½ teaspoon ground ginger
  • ½ teaspoon salt
  • ¼ teaspoon black pepper
  • ¼ teaspoon turmeric
  • ¼ teaspoon cinnamon
  • ⅛ teaspoon cayenne pepper
  • 1 13.5-ounce can coconut milk (light or full-fat will work)
  • 1 cup water
  • ½ lime
  1. In a large pot or wok, heat 1 tablespoon oil over medium heat.
  2. Once hot, add the onion. Cook for 3-5 minutes, until onion begins to soften. Add garlic and cook for 1 more minute.
  3. Add the carrots and tomatoes; stir to combine. Add more oil to the pan if necessary. Partially cover the pot; cook for 5-8 minutes, until carrots become slightly tender.
  4. Add the pumpkin, chickpeas, curry powder, ginger, salt, pepper, turmeric, cinnamon, and cayenne pepper. Stir until fully combined.
  5. Pour the coconut milk and water into the pot; mix well.
  6. Bring to a boil, then turn the heat down to let it simmer for 15-20 minutes, until the carrots are fully tender.
  7. Serve over rice, quinoa, buckwheat, or other grain alternative; squeeze a wedge of lime over each serving.

For our recipe Rachel follow the directions exactly and we used Quinoa for the grain of choice. Serving was a cup of Quinoa which is about 220 calories and 1 cup of the curry which is about 220 calories. So for 400ish calories you get a really amazing meal and some great nutrients packed in there.

How to lose weight: The Truth

How to lose weight: The truth

My purpose to writing this part one educational and part two to stop with the excuses that we all like to give ourselves when we are gaining weight or trying to lose it.



Before you begin reading below do me a favor. Click the link right below this and see an amazing couple who lost over 500 lbs. I think it is really important to see someone who just woke up one day and decided ENOUGH was ENOUGH. I am very honored to know this amazing couple personally.


Truth #1 Advice.

The ONLY person who is really accredited in the US to help you is a Registered Dietician. There is no such thing as a health coach, wellness coach, nutritionist (unless an RD), natural nutrition or whatever name people give to make up. Some people may not agree with this but i thought we were telling the truth remember. Registered Dieticians have a masters in nutrition, are regulated and have the experience to help people individually with their issues. If I were someone who was starting a journey I would see a dietician first to express my wants and needs as a program..

Truth #2 Losing Weight is a Numbers Game

You can lose weight eating carrots or snickers it dosent matter.  Plenty of people have proven that you can eat shit and still lose weight if you play the numbers game. Now im not saying this is healthy but I am trying to prove a point. BMR is the Basal Metabolic Rate which is the number of calories that you would burn if you laid in bed all day. For myself lets take me for example at 216 lbs.

So my BMR give or take is 2036 calories a day. That means theoretically if I eat 2036 calories a day I would stay the same weight. Now 1lb of fat is made up of 3500 calories. So if i burn 3500 calories than I can lose 1 pounds of fat from myself.

So lets say monday I eat 2000 calories but run and burn off 750 calories than my net is 1250 for the day.. So that means that i essentially have banked almost 800 calories which is almost 25% of a pound lost in one day.  So the morale of the example is to show you that it is a numbers game no matter what it is. The easiest way to track this is to track your calories daily and hold yourself accountable.

Truth #3 Lifting weights will make you big and you will gain weight.

I lifted the HEAVIEST weight ever while trying to lose weight and i never got big. Actually when i went for my skin removal consult (which I didnt do) he told me I was the best looking person he had seen lose over 150 lbs. I attribute this to losing weight over time and lifting the entire time. Another HUGE benefit to this is that muscle burns more calories than fat does. So the more muscle you have the more your BMR is and EASIER it is to lose weight.

Truth #4 I am big boned, fluffy or natural large.

I know personally when i was 300+ lbs i liked to say all of these things as well. I liked to mask the pain, tell the lies and believe all the crap. But the truth is that being obese is something we did to ourselves not some predestined future.

Last TRUTH… How do I lose weight.

You hold yourself accountable everyday. Even for myself who has lost this much weight and going back for me every meal, every run, every day it all counts. This is a long game and not something you can work off tomorrow. You need to be selfish, you need to sacrifice things and you need to be truth to yourself. Now eating healthy to me and losing weight SHOULD go together but this post is about losing weight.

Finally Lets look at my diary from yesterday which i personally use my fitness pal to track my food. name is rgoyen1040 if you want to add me.

Total calories in 1537′ total calories Eaten and 1803′ calories burned. That puts be in the red of 250 calories plus the 2000 calories that my body uses so almost 2250 so that should move the scaled about 3/4 of a pound in one day.

So there it is a quick and cliff notes version of losing weight. The truth is that diet and exercise for 99% people is all you will ever need to lose weight and gain control of your life. There is a ton of marketing ploys to get you to cleanse, detox, shakes, diet pills…. but its all really a coverup to the truth.

Eat clean, train your ass off and find yourself along the way.

Day 8 of 110 is here and its time for me to put in my 110%.

To join the 110for110 facebook group which is private here it is

Wanna follow me through strava or facebook here are the links

Week 1 and 5 days of 110

Week 1  Day 5 of 110 in the bank.

Its always a fun feeling to be trying to recapture the past of something you have done. I spent over 5 years of my life consistently losing weight to drop the 165lbs that i did. So for some reason this week I kept on thinking that I had to be in that mentality to do this. I found out very quickly that honestly a lot has change since I did this years ago. I get a considerably less amount of sleep, I have 10x the obligations and I am trying to make this a priority in my life.

So I really wanted to document what I was eating,recipes and my thoughts on weight loss during the week it was so face paced for me starting this on a wednesday that I really never caught up at all. Part of the journey is to tell you what failed me this week as well so here goes.

I let some business calls and issues get to me on thursday and it fucked with my head until even today. I am at the core of all of this an emotional eater. So I really had to try and “get through” this week without becoming a shit show. I had some really good workouts this IMG_7396[1]week but got a bit bored thursday and friday which i ended up missing 2 workouts that I could have done. And finally I

And finally I dont sleep enough and i felt super run down thursday, friday and took a huge nap saturday and sunday. While i usually can run for a week or so on 5 hours of sleep a night training 2-3x a day is whipping my ass. So I will start trying to modify my sleep schedule to either throw in a nap during the day or try and go to bed before 2:30-3am which is my normal sleep pattern.




But all in all I worked hard and the proof is in the numbers. My goal was to stay around 2000 calories each day which i did minus friday when i had some torchys so probably hit 2500 that day. I am eating vegan right now which I will get into this week fully and I am not taking anything outside of a multi vitamin or a scoop of protein for a shake.

My stats are



Week 1 Tuesday-Sunday 37.3 miles, 14,017 feet of vertical gain and 4 days of working out, 13h 24 min total working out.Also i did well on my steps with a great average and 3 days over 20k a day. fitbitsteps

Here is my fitbit if you want to add me

Here is my strava link which i am going to utilize

Starting weight was 221.4 and I weighed in this morning at 216.4 which is a loss of 5.0 lbs. We are on our way to 173.5 and I am really looking forward to a whole week of working out, documenting it all and seeing how it rolls.

This weeks goals are below:

  1. Weight- 3.5 lbs this week. Plain and simple. Hard work and less calories this week.
  2. Caloric Intake- Avg this week 1900 a day. Its a good transition and I will start doing this more.. ( I will tell you why week 3)
  3. Workout Hours- 15 hours this week and with that at LEAST 5 hours of core/weights/training. So 10 cardio and 5 weights.
  4. Steps- For the week 140,000 that would be 20k a day. I think a couple of days I can add in a good incline hike and get there.
  5. Blogs- 3 blogs this week. Tues Night on How to lose weight aka stopping the lies of marketing, Thursday a recipe and weekend blog on something life related.

Also if you are reading this and want to follow daily along we started a facebook group that is a bunch of us just trying to motivate each other for these 110 days to meet our goals no matter what they are.

But week 1 is over and the “chips and queso” weight is off. If I am going to stay on track I need to move my ass, continue to eat clean and dont let the shit get in my brain.




110% for 100 days

So here I begin again. Well actually i started this morning when i got back on the scale.

This is me at my highest weight.

This is me at my highest weight.

To tell you where I am today is to remind myself of where i have been in this journey. Ive been 347 lbs 6 years ago, i quit smoking, quit the drugs/alcohol and found trail running. I lost more weight, ran more and eventually finished my 1st ultra. One knee surgery, more weight loss and then a 100 miler. Eventually getting down to about 183 i was essentially running 100 mile weeks on one knee just trying to keep the ball rolling but i couldnt. My knee wouldnt hold much after that and despite finishing another 100 miler it was pretty much toast. So one huge knee surgery in early 2015 and a 51 hour 100 miler finish in 2016 has me finally telling myself to halt..



Now i would love to give you a ton of excuses on why I never reached my goal. You know I could tell you how much stronger I am, i could tell you its because i cant run as much anymore or I can make something really clever up.. But the TRUTH is its all my fault and I am okay with that. So for the past 2 years I have always thought of documenting the struggle that is takes to lose weight and at the same time talk about my life in a semi documentary way. For the past year I have done mini blogs on my facebook page as a way to try and provide my thoughts on some various life situations that I have been in.


So here i stood this morning. Less one knee than ever and tipping the scale at 224. The odds are stacked against me to do it again and finally hit 173.5 that has been my only goal that i never hit. So this is my focus for this year and specifically 110 days. I dont honestly know and or think if i can lose 51 pounds in 110 days but thats not the real point of it all honestly.


The point of the journey is to be honest, transparent and provide real content. The realistic part for my own head is that I need to rehab this knee, take some weight off to help it and come back in June ready to roll. I badly wanted to travel to California to the US Skyrace and Western States in the best shape of my life.

So if you are reading this and are battling the same thoughts of missing a goal feel free to jump on the ship. I would love to have people support each other in the 110 days that start on the 24th of February and Run Until June 12th. I plan on blogging weekly on my journey, posting some recipes, diving into personal items and really trying to use the time to seek clarity.

So here is to Day 1 again. I will document the good, the bad and the truth to show people that anything can be done through discipline.


Here is the secret facebook group i started if you would like to join and chat.

Why do we weaken women?

I dont often times find myself lead to write much that does not involve by own personal life. I have no problems writing about being abused, an addict or my running adventures along this earth. But for the past month i have been reminded over and over again of this topic that i had been pondering. I know over the past couple of months with me dealing with injury i have been more keen on seeing some things from different angles. So here goes the ramblings that I cant seem to ignore.

I am married to an unbelievable woman that happens to be my wife. One of the greatest things my wife has always told me was that she wanted to be with me, she didnt need to be with me. Thats exactly the kind of woman that I want my wife to be and my future daughter to be one day. I appreciate my wifes ability to be strong both physically and mentally. I enjoy that I can find her unbelievably attractive at the same moment that she is correcting me on something I have done wrong. To me the greatest asset in my life is the attention of my wife.

So I am wondering as Men why we continue to pursue to weaken our women?

I am a race director by trade as well as someone who works within the field of athletics in advertising. When it comes to running, track/field and trail running is inherited that we all wear less clothing than we would if we were going to a wedding or a funeral. Clothing for the most part is limited to exact what we need to have to cover us while we do our best.

So a few years ago I was sitting around a round table of “guys” the topic of who was the hottest member of our club. I am the president of this club and I thought this was the weirdest question. I declined to answer not only as the president but as a husband to my wife. I thought what a stupid ass question.. These are the same women that we are running with on saturday but now we are stripping down them to a vote on how they look…

As time passes it seemed that nothing has changed. A few months back in passing I was asked who was the “hottest” girl I had interviewed. I heard the question and shot back are you “joking”. They looked at me like I was being an asshole and said whats the big deal, why are you mad.  I said how professional is it for me to answer such an ignorant question…

While those instances were in person and completely one on one I have now witnessed where this leads to: the internet.

I spend a great deal of time doing marketing research on facebook, twitter or instagram for our races. I have seen though lately something that is completely  absurd. Something that as a man makes me wonder if this is what our society has become.

It has become apparent that men think they can post whatever they want on females facebook pages without regard to how distasteful , disrespectful or harassing that they want.

As I looked at a page with a well known cross-fit women who posted a picture of her in the gym lifting weights the comments took off..

she would be better off with boobs one said, another chimed in that she had too much clothes on and another said that she looked good from the neck down..  as i read the posts i thought who are these men??

i thought are these husbands, fathers do they have sisters? do they think this is acceptable behavior in life? a few more comments and the athlete posted that she was hurt by the comments and she reads them all.

a few weeks ago another female runner in a picture with a sports bra and a running skirt.. i didnt get more than 5 comments before the disgusting comments began..

a wonder whats under the skirt one said, another commented that he would hit it.. the last one “he has had better”…. i thought how disgusting…

but here is what is worse than the 2 instances that i just gave you that i have seen with my own eyes.. That this kind of predatory mentality that we are allowing is weakening women.

As i have been pondering writing this at all i saw the recent marketing campaign for #runlikeagirl or #likeagirl. It is a campaign used to empower girls and women to run no matter what. While i think the campaign is worthy its equally sad. To me it is really sad that we have made women/girls think that they are unequal in life and that we need a campaign to empower them.

But what I am writing about isnt something new. Women haven’t been treated fairly in track/field, athletics and ultra running through the years. This isn’t something new but it remains the same issue no matter what decade. We have just stopped pulling women off the Boston Marathon and have turned to giving them less prize money. We have gone from behind closed doors objectifying them to openly disgracing them on social media.

I am writing this since if a woman wrote it people would label her a feminist, a bitch or someone looking for attention. So ill speak up for my wife, my future daughter or my beautiful moms.

Men of the world I ask you why do YOU weaken women?

Dont you want a strong wife? Dont you want a strong daughter? Do you think those comments would be received well if that was your daughter?

I am disgusted at how I see so called men act behind closed doors and in the social media eye. What you are doing when you chop away at women is that you weaken what makes them beautiful. You make them feel insecure at their muscles, there bodies and what they are capable of. Our daughters grow up thinking they are less than others because of the bullshit that ignorant people say about them.

And it takes a marketing ploy for us to subliminally remind ourselves that we treat girls inferior to boys.  I mean where is the #runlikeaboy campaign?

There was a recent video made about how we percieve like a girl.. What it clearly shows is that young girls have no clue that like a girl is an insult when you get older. Yet like a girl to anyone older is clearly a weaker way of doing something.

Its about time that the MEN of the world started acting like it. Stop acting like you have no control over your emotions or your sexual impulses in life. Stop using the like a girl as some way to describe something less than or negative. Stop glorifying each other as you consistently harass and demean women in public.

Your disgusting acts will only weaken women, you wife or your daughter in time.