You know this blog will be my most personal i have written. For those who read this I will do my best to convey to you my thoughts, how I feel and just how much this means to me.
You know back in 12/31/2014 i had the opportunity to run for Kees Poole our sweet God son that passed due to pediatric cancer. I ran that day for him and in honor with the Snowdrop Foundation. I till this day have never ran that well.
Shortly after that race I fell into a trap. I fell into an hole of ego. I felt like I had to prove to everybody something and I didnt. I left that race and I let my weakness and insecurities win. I decided shortly after to run bandera and rocky raccoon 100. With my wifes miscarriage on my mind i toed the line both times.
But you the truth is the weaker man showed up those days. What i did was put myself before others. I asked friends, family and loved ones to believe in me, to trust in me and to give their time for me when I wasnt willing to do the same for myself. I took these people and their time for granted.
Shortly after this happened my relationships began to crumble with friends. I finally had to realize that my knee was too bad to keep this up. I realized that my time was up to keep running. This was the most humbling experience that I had to deal with. Over the next few months i battled back and forth with those friends to show them that I did care, that I was wrong and I was sorry.
Over the last 4 months my life has changed beyond anything I could have imagined. The last 4 months closed and opened another chapter in my life.
Soon after March I decided to get an MRI to know the truth. I have always had problems with my right knee from being obese and already had surgery. As the MRI results came back it was as bad as it gets. The truth of my knee is that I have no functioning meniscus, i have worn through my cartilage and i have bone spurs as well. The surgeon recommends knee replacement if i was older. Its a strange thing to realize that you started running 2 years ago and that I have never run without pain. I often thing i wonder what it feels like to run and never hurt.. Must be nice.. Well my only other option is oats surgery, cartilage insertion, (stem cells if my insurance will cover it), and some bone spur removal… that and 6 weeks of no walking.. Surgery is set for sept 20th btw..
The knee diagnosis didnt really surprise me as my knee is a mixed bad of hot magma and swelling anyways. I started to seek other things i could do since running was a no go.
As march passed Brazos Bend 50 came up in april. I started to watch John Sharp and what he did online. I started to really dig all this vertical stuff and my love for the mountains and climbing really set in. I began to start to do climbing specific training rather than running. Hard climbing, fast walking and weighted packs.. As Brazos Bend 50 came to fruition it was the shot in the arm for me and for my family.
I came away from Brazos Bend 50 changed. I sat their and witnessed people being amazing right in front of me. I immediately had all these people who befriended me and I was overwhelmed with the support of our community.
As time passed I started working more for usl.tv and Rachel decided to quit her job to help us get a schedule made for next year and focus on BB100. As I climbed here in Houston and felt better I got the opportunity to head to Western States 100. This was another moment that I cant forget. Watching people finish this beautiful race is under 30 hours was a blessing for me.
As I came home an impromptu trail weekend in Austin pushed me over the edge. It was the training run that i needed in my life. I did run this day for a hour or so and it reminded me of when the HATRs first started just me, jose, jerms and rachel. When we would have group runs it would be us 3 and we used to call ourselves the dirty bums since we fell on the ground a lot and laughed.
As this past weekend went passed I had the opportunity to hit the speedgoat 50k course the day after. I spent 6 hours climbing around those mountains like a playground. Although my knee didnt care for walking downhill the ups power hiking were amazing and left me feeling great.. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aFxhmhWDus0
I am back tracking because all of this leads to the next adventure. I spend 2 days on the LSHT a few months back with my brother in law. It was enjoyable and we stopped after a few days. I hated it. I had been like 2/2 for not having to quit stuff and I really didnt like the taste in my mouth and I told my wife that day I wanted to go after it all.
So here we are technically when you read this probably 24 hours away from the FKT attempt unsupported of the Lone Star Hiking Trail. I will be starting sometime thursday on the 96 mile hike. I will be doing this by myself and will document.record the event as well.
I am writing this blog though to tell you not that I am doing the FKT but also to point out the significance of inspirational people.
I watch closer than I ever have before at what people are doing. I am constantly trying to figure out why they are successful and what makes them great.
From Jeff millers workouts. To John Sharpe killing Hardrock. Jeremy Hanson losing weight like a mad man. Jose Q deciding to grind like never before. Mark Kenney for methodically hitting his own personal CEO goals and not stopping. For Liz M for kicking ass in huntsville. From Marie Ramsey for winning that Cash..Killian Jornet playing his way to destroying hardrock’s records.. Rob Krar’s look at green gate. Tim Olson’s refusal to submit at Hardrock. To my buddy Dylan Bowman at Western States looking like a million bucks.. To Nick Clark and Kaci L for making an agreement and getting it done.
You see these people are all the same. From the 5k to the 100 milers they are all still people that are working their asses off to get those dreams. They are willing not to be out worked to get where they need to be,.
I see these people as opportunities. I see them as people that are killing it in life. These are IRON swords my friends and IRON sharpens IRON. Over the past 4 months of I hit the iron and done more vert than I probably ever thought i could or would.
I am addicted to climbing, I am addicted to lifting that heavy weight and I am ready mentally to take on the challenge ahead.
So as I sit here to right this I feel grateful. Grateful for the opportunity to go chase this rainbow.. Grateful that I have the best wife, friends and family that I could ask for. Grateful that some companies believed in me when the HATRs were zero and I had never done anything.
And I am grateful that Jose over 5 years ago now told me that I was going to die if i didnt change. Yes I did the work but he cared enough to let me know and thus the ball started to roll.
I cant wait to fight the ticks, flying brigade of insects and have a 30 hour sing a long with my new play list.
Thank you all for the support. I told myself after grasslands that I wouldnt enter anything that i wasnt willing to die for like i used to and this is that journey.
And as My wife asked me today as I printed maps..
“babe are you ready for this?” my answer without hesitation.
FK YES I AM..
Live life like there is no tomorrow.