The hardest part of working hard is stopping.

I have for the better part of my life resisted the part of the training that involves rest. It is a great weakness that I have in my own athletic accomplishments but a positive in business.

As i prepared for what I would be my last week of push on the rower I had to take a step back on monday am. We were fresh off a long race weekend, my legs hadnt coming back around from standing up for 2 days with limited sleep and I was tired. Despite this I knew that I had put in the work and that the week would be something I would still go after.

 

My Tuesday/Wed workouts were big, they were good and I watched my HR sit comfortably. I have been battling a tennis elbow like hurt in my left elbow from lifting some heavy weight the week before and my right knee was swelling from the weekend. As Thursday approached I was in a position that I usually fail in.

I was in the position where I know I have put in the work over the past 6 months but I still want more before the goal. I in my own mind wanted that last week confidence booster but my body was getting torn apart just to see it happen. In 2013 i ran 3 100 mile weeks back to back to back in search of fitness for the Grasslands 50M. Going into the race I knew that my hip flexors felt like there were going to pop at any time and therefore at mile 18 they did. I dont tell the story of me doing 3 100 mile weeks because the end results is a big DNF at a race that has beat me so many times.

So as I go to grab the keys off the key ring i cant.. My elbow pulses with pain, my grimace shows what I cant hide and my observant  wife asks why I am still going. Shes right as in most time with my training but I dont want to hear that. I want to find that other gear, I want to push through that pain and I want more meters.

 

After taking the day off I realize that while i might be able to tell people i did another 161k 100 mile week on the rower what would my story be if I only did 6 hours of the 24 hours. I already know its going to be hard, I already feel the anxiousness of trying it for 24 but did I want that to be the end of the story.

So with that I officially shut it down saturday after rowing for about 15min. My HR was about 98 bpm at race pace of 5500 meters per 30 min. That gives me a cushion of about 1000 meters an hour which should warranted a restroom break or 2 an hour to stay on pace.

 

As much as I would love to go 241,000 metres or 150 miles in 24 hours the truth is I am just going to get to enjoy seeing what I can do as a person. Im not really worried about my cardio at all but I just wonder what kind of muscular endurance I will face after 10-12 hours. I wonder how I will feel grinding meters at 2am or what I will think when it becomes not fun anymore.

And the most important part of it all is that I get to row for so many who cant and for the wonderful Wings For Life Foundation. My time on that rower serves as a vehicle to help those who need it and dont get the opportunities I do in life.

So for once in my life I shut it down before I burned in hot. I took of sunday enjoyed indian food and nachos. This morning I got my normal post 2 weeks diet on track and ready to roll. Im looking forward to being as lean as I can, well rested and ready to fight for every meter in 24 hours. Im grateful for Rachel always being the smart one in my life and giving me a push to shut it down.

Dont forget Friday April 28th at 7am is when I start and Im rowing for the Wings for Life Foundation. I will be on FACEBOOK LIVE http://www.facebook.com/runningrobg the entire time so you can watch. Some people have donated straight to the site (SO THANK YOU ALREADY) and some are pledging $1 per 10,000 meters=$24 or $200 if I can do 241,000 meters. But let it be clear I thank you for wanting to watch me do this and I am grateful for each penny that goes to the Wings for Life Foundation. The charity gives a REAL 100% to Spinal Cord Reseach and I will think of them while i row. https://fundraising.wingsforlifeworldrun.com/us/EN/2baba7f0f8cd11e6aa120a9de91963

Full of Fire

One last week and im full of fire.

This past weekend really meant a lot to me as a person who draws on inspiration. I got the chance to basically sit at the start and finish line of so many peoples journeys again at the Brazos bend 50. I always tell people that I get to watch amazing stories unfold in my eyes and then use them for the fire in my own life.

From yelling at Aaron to finish what he started, from watching Steve/Roy grind out that last few miles with the clean up crew behind them and my first ever athlete i have coached winning the 50 miler.

 

Despite the weeks worth of prep work, the 3 hour of sleep i got in the front of a uhual truck cab before the race or the opening of a trailer to clean when my legs still ache its all worth it.

Its worth it to chase your dreams, its all worth it to watch others chase theirs and its truly what i love to do.

So here is my big last workout week for my own personal goals. 161,000 meters on the rower will get me a 100 mile week and my last push for fitness. I am 20 days away from starting a 24 hour row fest to benefit the Wings for Life Foundation.

So this week is my transparency week for workouts, hr and how I have been getting it done. So here is the plan of the week and I will post a sunday evening blog on exactly how the week panned out. With this much rowing on deck I have put off some items to do on my personal schedule and may miss some lifting due to fatigue.

Goal is set at 161k meters for the week also equal to 100 miles.

Mon- 10,000 meters at 100-110 hr bpm easing into the week and my work schedule is heavy this day.

Tues- I will split 2 10ks on the rower. Both of them going for a bit higher HR in the 130-140 range.

Wed- 15k in the am and 15k in the pm with a block under the front of the rower for some added pull.

Thurs 20k one pull hopefully early in the am. Should be a good solid 2 hour effort.

Fri- 15k meters at 100-110 hr avg easy race pace. Should take around 90 min.

Sat- 2 hour row at race pace 120 hr avg 23,000 meters.. With us having a day at the warhouse I will get to row while people are running on the treadmill so should be able to get in 2-3 hours of rowing.

Sunday- 3 hour row at race pace- 120 HR avg 33k meters. I have nothing on the schedule so this will just be a tough final session to know the work is completed and ready to roll.

 

A few items to note is that my heels have been sore from form issues when I am rowing really hard or going after short tabata pulls. So I will stay away from any short intense pulls this week while i focus on the endurance end. My knee has always swelled since I decided to run last week so ill nix all box jumps, running at all and heavy weight lifting to preserve as much strength as needed to get in all my rowing goals.

 

So in a nutshell it I will spend about 15-18 hours on the rower this week as its my last big push for fitness.

 

Dont forget Friday April 28th at 7am is when I start and Im rowing for the Wings for Life Foundation. I will be on FACEBOOK LIVE the entire time so you can watch. Some people have donated straight to the site (SO THANK YOU ALREADY) and some are pledging $1 per 10,000 meters=$24 or $200 if I can do 241,000 meters. But let it be clear I thank you for wanting to watch me do this and I am grateful for each penny that goes to the Wings for Life Foundation. The charity gives a REAL 100% to Spinal Cord Reseach and I will think of them while i row. https://fundraising.wingsforlifeworldrun.com/us/EN/2baba7f0f8cd11e6aa120a9de91963a

Rowing Setup and Training

 

Well since I have no friends in life that enjoy rowing much like I did with trail running I have been getting tons of questions on setup for the rower and training as well. So my #2 entry will be on what I have been doing for training, the setup and items I am using. Next week I am going for 160k so my blogs will be workout based leading up to the final 2 weeks.

 

Equipment for Rowing:

I bought a concept 2 rower as I started to get really serious about training for the event. Much like when I trained for mountains I bought a treadmill as well. So the concept 2 rower come with this amazing PM5 computer attached to it. This thing has a ton of options and features that I wanted including wireless and Bluetooth.  With those capabilities i turned to polar which is who i use for my HR watch for a HR belt that would read on the PM5 and also started using the app live rowing as well to track my stats. I am runningrobg on the live rowing app and will be trying to use it for the 24 hour row as well.

With the time i have been putting in a rower since november I did find a few more thing useful along the way. I used gloves and/or tape as my pads on my hands began to form. Now that i have been rowing often easy efforts like 1-2 hours done really requite too much prep but i will use trail toes tape on my hands and also use the lube for the ankles and other areas as needed. I also in the process bout 2 different pads fo the rower 1 is just a small pad that can be used on any rower with a non slip side to it.. The other is from hornet and is actual molded to the seat i have so it just stay on there the entire time. I wanted to have the small easy one to take if i was going to crosssfit fulshear or 24 hour fitness to work out.

 

My other big change is using a skirt to row in. As much as this might sound odd i dont think i would be able to do this if I wasnt able to find something that was helping me and not hindering me. I have a great friend Julie Millen who owns http://www.joulesathletics.com who i told her about me wanting to try one of her skirts. The truth is that my thighs are growing from rowing and shorts began to ride all the time. I also knew with that much time on my butt that i wanted a double layer of apparel to make sure i didnt chafe or run. So the skirts where the next choice to give a go.. So I am 100% rowing in a skirt and it is the best choice I could have made. Her skirts have sticky under sides that stay in place, the material is light and it fits great.

So the basic items that I have used are above. I have been doing similar that I have done for long endurance events in regards to nutrition as well. I like tailwind to drink, mas korimas kormalitas as cookies and red bull for the boost.

Science of Training:

I recently did do a lactate threshold test at memorial hermann on shepard square the cost is $150 for the session. The basics for me was that I would hold a certain wattage for 3 min on the rower. After 3 min they would prick my finger read it and assign another bench mark. We ended up doing 10 data points which was great to see the lactate curve. I have never had one of these done as a runner but love the data and seeing it. The chart really showed me where I was on the rower and confiedm my zones that I had thought as well in my own mind. So i was excited to see the work I have done paying off and also the zones that I need to stay in for the 24 hour row.

I have been self coaching myself for the last few months on the rower. I have been lately trying to stick with mixing in shorter faster high end sessions like 1-5 min all outs, tabata and 20 sec intervals. The other 80% of the time i have been focused on endurance training which is good sessions at 120-135 hr. I have also been able to lower my stoke rate from a 28-29 when i started a few months ago down to a 24-25 stroke rate which will help me over the time that I will be rowing.

 

So that is the basis of my equipment i have been using, the training and some of the prodcuts that I am using as I train. Next week I will lay out my weeks plan which should have me shooting for around 160k for the week as it is my last training week.

 

Dont forget Friday April 28th at 7am is when I start and Im rowing for the Wings for Life Foundation. Some people have donated straight to the site (SO THANK YOU ALREADY) and some are pledging $1 per 10,000 meters=$24 or $200 if I can do 241,000 meters. But let it be clear I thank you for wanting to watch me do this and I am grateful for each penny that goes to the Wings for Life Foundation. The charity gives a REAL 100% to Spinal Cord Reseach and I will think of them while i row. https://fundraising.wingsforlifeworldrun.com/us/EN/2baba7f0f8cd11e6aa120a9de91963a7

Thank you all again. The love and support will lit the fire.

 

Rowing with Rob

I have been searching for a few years now for something, anything that would reconnect me to the fun of competition. With my knee having all of the issues it has been hard to train and even harder to get to the line to race. I have had to basically put in hours upon hours just to give my self a shit show chance of completing a flat 55 hour 100 and an all out climbing 50k.

But after dragging my knee to a 53.5 hr finish at Snowdrop this year I knew something had to change. I got tired, I got complacent and I was done with running. It honestly pains me to say that I am done with running but for now I need to be. My knee cant take the pounding and my soul hates the pain.

So I have been fortunate over the past few months of falling in love with an amazing group of people at Crossfit Fulshear. Over the past few months I have rekindled my love for lifting weights, moving my body and becoming more balanced in my strength. I have never had a “runners” body as the love of lifting weights and losing a bunch of weight has always left me on the Clydesdale side of ultras. But this amazing gym has encouraged me to push my limits, they have inspired me to take on challenges and I have learned so much from being part of another community that is welcoming.

As i have been developing as an athlete again I was searching for something anything that I can do to push my endurance buttons. In november of last year i decided to get back on a rower again. I have only used a rower when I had knee surgery but i always remember it being super boring, easy on my knees and hard as hell. Well those are all things that I enjoy to do as much as I can.

My love for the rower ended up with me training and completing a 100k meter effort in a bit less than 8 hours leading up to the race at the end of January. It went well and my love for rowing has continued.

So fast forward until today. I have been working on the rower since then and have been proposing something special to do that will push me as an athlete and allow me to give back to something important as well.

So I will be Rowing for 24 hours straight on Friday April 28th 2017 from 7am until Saturday April 29th at 7am.  I will be streaming the entire event LIVE from my facebook page at https://www.facebook.com/runningrobg but more importantly is why I am rowing other than to push myself.

The Wings for Life World Run is May 7th all over the world. I cannot run the race because I am race directing but I want to do my part to contribute a cause that is worthy. http://www.wingsforlifeworldrun.com/us/en/help-us-raise-funds-for-spinal-cord-injury-wings-for-life-world-run/ For many of these that have been affected they dont get the opportunities that I get to on a daily basis. They dont get the chance to row for 24 hours and for me thats enough fire for me to row 24 hours for them.

 

So I am asking for your help in my endeavors to support them. I am challenging my friends, family, running mates, fellow crossfitters, rowers, sponsors and supporters to help me drive awareness to this cause.

 

I want you to challenge me with a pledge for meters or every 10k meters. My goal is to row an average of 10,000 meters for the 24 hours for a total of 241,402 meters which is the equivalent of 150 miles. I know its a lot to ask but it dosent have to be large because we have numbers. Pledging $1 per 10,000 meters would be a donation of $24. Pledging .50 every hour I row would be $12.. I have never asked for people to pledge donations for something but I think for me this is something worthy.

 

I am also going to use the hashtag #rowwithrob leading up and would love for you to also jump on a rower and knock out 1,000 meters with me or 10,000 with me. I know that for me personally watching people rowing, supporting and pushing themselves all for a great cause which is spinal cord research will keep my fire lit.

My Link for the Wings For Life Donation page is here and 100% of the Donations go to Spinal Cord Research. There is no middle men there isnt someone getting 30% of it.. 100% of my effort and your donation will help! https://fundraising.wingsforlifeworldrun.com/us/EN/2baba7f0f8cd11e6aa120a9de91963a7

 

I will from today on post 2x a week updating everyone on status of taper/training, why i am rowing in a skirt and also what a lactate test looks like on a rower.

I have so many people to thank and sponsors to thank for giving me these opportunites to push. In the next few weeks I look forward to showing you a bit of behind the scences of the preperation for the event..

As always I am grateful and humbled to chase my dreams in front of you all.

 

Living the dream

This past weekend I got the pleasure and honor and putting on a race that has been in my mind for years. When I originally found the Franklin Mountains in 2015 I was always wanting to put on a 100k or a 100miler. I knew from being on the mountain dozens of times that it had what it would take to push myself and the runners to amazing new heights. With any race that we put on, we plan for the worst and hope for the best. But when you put on mountain races with no access, no water, and no electricity well you often get the introduction to adversity.

It was an amazing week of preparing for what would be our biggest race to date. Our first 36-hour race with large loops, lots of volunteers and what would be crazy weather conditions. The race started on Saturday with the hottest day ever in el Paso history and Sunday with 60+ mph gusts on the ridgelines. The runners fought, the volunteers worked their asses off and we kept the glue together from the home base. I am always forever grateful for everyone who chooses to run, volunteer or be part of our TROT races that we put on.

There are always so many people who contribute their time, effort and sacrifice to make these events as amazing as they are. But for me, I stand back and I am always very grateful for this opportunity. Rachel and I often shake our heads at what seems to be the crazy predicaments I get us into with races but I always say look at this experience we get to have. We regularly talk about how much our lives have changed over the past few years with race directing.

But for me personally, I get a chance to look back at what used to be. I am often reminded of the destructive life I used to lead and how lucky I am to get a second chance to give back. Last year I contacted a good friend of mine Myles Smythe on a pitch idea of telling the story of how my life changed and how TROT came to be. I was fortunate enough to have Sierra Studio Films make an amazing film following us at we directed the Brazos Bend 100 2016 and tell a bit of my back story as well.

So today we release the 60-second trailer for the film Texas Trail Blazer. We will premiere the move on Feb 25th at our TROT HQ open house and will release it on Vimeo that night at midnight.

As I get my last day tomorrow loving the mountain an image sticks out in my mind from this weekend. It was the sequence of watching one of my beloved Team TROT runners Julie Koepke finishing our Lone Star 100 race. I remember watching her stumbling from the top of the last decent heading towards the finish line. The wind throwing her around from side to side as she made her way to the finish. As she finished I remember thinking how aged she looked to me from the wide-smiled Julie that I remember so well. I commented on how dirty and withered she looked after the 31 hours of fighting on the mountain. I remember her sitting down soaking it all in as she peered to the mountains. I got her a blanket to wrap up in and she kind of ducked her head in to get out of the wind. I just stared at her thinking how much she inspires me to never quit. She reminds me with her actions on why I love race directing and why it is truly my way to serve.

-rob

Starting Over again..

Why now and why again?

 

I dont know. I am as a person exhausted. I have for probably 2.5 years put business in front of everything. This is an acceptable trade off and always has been until its not.

My health and especially my knee’s health has over the past 6 months take a turn for the worse. I have essentially learned how to drive left footed with a stick, figured out a way to hobble a 100 miler in 53 hours and now do my job on one leg.. But there is one huge fking problem with all of that.. Im exhausted.

Just tying the words that Im tired makes me feel like a quitter. But for me the options are plain and also quite simple. The time is now to start back at square 1. Square 1 for me means that I have to start to work on myself as a person. It means that I have to push myself back into the cave and figure out what I want.

I have always loved the challenges for me personally that engage my body, my mind and soul. I think when you are trying to better yourself that having an equal plan for all of those is incredibly important. So for me there are some really cool ideas that I have that I want to try. Some to fk with my own self, some to show gratitude and some to show support.

I have had the incredible opportunity to speak to so many people who have battled some of the same demons I have in my lifetime. While I enjoy getting to talk about those things I also hate not feeling like I am personally 100%. Some of that is because of my knee, some of that is that I have been head down focused on work and some of that is I need to push myself to show gratitude.

So starting last week I have been challenging myself to meditate for 10 min a day. While i have no CLUE what I am doing in my own head space I am going to continue to do this for 6 months. I want to use this as a mental practice to control my mind ( i mean try to) to push toward the successes I am looking for.

So today is my first blog post back. I am without a doubt “fearing” starting to blog again. While i have plenty to write about at times I also have had a wonderful history of not blogging when my schedule dosent see fit.. And that means either failing at a goal or not doing shit. Both of which are shit excuses. So here we go. Im updating this every week on monday no matter if the week was a shit show or the greatest week of my life.

I am looking forward to putting the week out there and getting it done.

Goals for the week- (5)

All days monday- sunday will be clean eating.. Sunday night will be my exception for the post lonestar 100. I will document cals in/out and weight on monday.

10 min meditation will commence for the entire week at some point during the day.

I will schedule my knee appt this week (which i dont want to do)

I will schedule a torment thursday (this will be horrible will be 2.16)

I will make a cement schedule on attempting a 100mile row attempt.

so here we go again.. as I would tell my brazos bend 100 runners. time to burn the fucking boats.

Day 37of 110. Finding the groove.

Finding the groove.

 

As I sit here i think of everything that I could have done better the last 37 days. My weight for the most part the last 3 weeks has stayed within 211-209 last weekend. While that is a slow success I also have been in a funk the past few weeks.

I have basically every weekend tried to will myself to greatness but my head hasnt been in the game. Some of this is/was a bunch of negatives that I let affect me and some of it was feeling like i couldnt get in a groove. For me when I am in this battle I hate surprises and I know I am really good with a structured schedule.

Lately the schedule has been highly erratic and I haven’t done the best with going with the flow. But in the last few days I was able to kind of clear my mind, have some great meetings with people I trust and walk myself in off that ledge.

So here are some tips that help me to get out of a funk or get back in my groove.

  1. Take some meetings with people who you care about or are partners.
  2. Set aside an hour to read, meditate or do something in silence.
  3. Watching Motivational Videos. I am a geek when it comes to watching motivational videos it kind of lights a fire undernath me. My favorites are https://www.youtube.com/user/GaryVaynerchuk and https://www.youtube.com/user/etthehiphoppreacher
  4. Write about it. Rather that be a blog like this, a facebook post with content or on something like medium.com
  5. Be honest with where you are right then.. For me this is always the last day before I can find clarity..

As the road over the past few weeks has felt like forever it wasnt. It has simply been a time where I have been battling in the zone and I havent been able to pop my head up and breath.

So here we are the last 2 days I have found myself being kind, feeling confident and on the ball. I am excited to push forward, get to a new level and continue to document it all.

110% for 110 days

Bagging for Tips

Bagging for Tips

While i was recently in the local Kroger getting some groceries I overheard a couple of the baggers chatting about too many sackers, not enough people to take out and how they were short staffed on certain days. I was reflecting back on my days of hustling for tips and the data that i used to collect to get the most.

I started at a local grocery named Foodarama the day i was 16 which would have been in november of that year. I worked there for about 7 months then in late may i ended up taking another job at a bigger grocery store Randall’s since the other store wouldnt give me more than 40 hours.

But this article is more of a fun reflection of me remembering all of the things i used to do to get tips and make money while doing it. Obviously if you have a child that is a bagger, you are a bagger or you are about to these tips will help you get paid and out smart many doing the same job.

#1 Tip- Collect data for everything. I know when i used to bag groceries i used to split all of my sheet into 1 hour blocks. So lets say i was working 7 hours with the break. I would have all of the hours written down before i started and be watching how much i was bringing in tips on the hours. I remember i used to shoot for $5 an hour and usually got it. But that was also after tracking months of tips and adjusting my schedule to fit those hours.

#2 Be Prepared- I ALWAYS had at least $20 in 1s in my pocket before I ever started my shift. Everytime you take out a cart and then have a 5, 10 or 20 you would lose that game. I had a 3 second rule where if i was putting groceries in and was done I could see them fidgeting in their purse. I would say ” do you need change”… When they said yes.. I would look to see the bill normally a $5 and i would say do you want 2 or 3 dollars back… If you read between those lines than you realize i am getting a 2-3 dollar tips vs me ASKING how much change they want which would have been $4 back and a $1 tip…

#3 Keep moving- When i was a bagger I was always trying to engage the customer from the get go. I would ask them how are you doing? paper of plastic etc.. But once the bagging started I would purposely look out for items such as breads, eggs or other breakable items. Asking a customer would you like this bagged separate would also be a quick smile from them. I also realized that i didnt have a lot of time to get on the good side quick. Once the bags hit the cart I would start to push it towards the door. If even if the customer was on the fence at this point I was already taking them out anyways… Now in the event that a customer would say no thats okay… I would say ” i dont mind its okay if you dont tip”…. this plays on a persons psyche. They are like damn i have to tip him or they feel bad. Either way im taking them out and im ready to win…

#4 Running Mate- This was my key to making money at Foodarama. When i started there i was the only caucasian working in the front of the building and a large majority of our clients were not caucasian. Now I tell you that because the first 2-3 months nothing worked for me to get tips in this place. I remember making like $1 an hour where as others were getting 3-5$ an hour. I began to actual mark down which races would tip me and wouldnt. Shortly after I had a friend who worked there who was african american. He commented on how white people didnt tip him and i felt the same on other races. We agreed to work together and would pass off various races to each other to make it work. Shortly after our plan worked and we both profited greatly by profiling our clients.

#5 Remember your big tippers- When i worked at Randalls we had a pretty good clientele that would come in and spend quite a bit. We had a fair share of local athletes, ball players and people who were pretty wealthy I made a point to always track these folks and remember their faces. The important part of that was that I would get them when they would walk in the door and i would call them by name. So for instance as soon as I would recognize a person coming in I would greet them and Say welcome back Mrs Smith, anything i can help you with? More ofthen than not they might need some quick help or getting 40ln dog food etc.. The truth is that when you take care of people like that when they come up to the register they could request you to take their bags out. So taking 5 minutes out of the day was worth the $5 tip over the average.

#6 Keep the Kids Happy Get tips- I used to always have some dum dums in my pockets when I worked early shifts especially. What I always knew is that once the kids where on the other side of their parents they started fussing. The more they fussed the more the parents would want to just get the heck out of the store which lowered my chances of getting a cart out. As soon as I saw a kid with them i would say can they have a sucker? When they said yes and thank you all parties were happy. Happy Kids meant i was taking a cart out looking like a grocery hero.

#7 Stalking the dog food/cat food aisles- When the morning would start slow the “old guys” would stand around and talk about coffee or sports or anything else… There was always like 6 guys that were just gearing up for every cart available. They were grizzled and rarely let you in until the traffic became heavy. Well i started just checking out the 3 heavy item aisles. I would walk them and wait for something who needed some help getting items. Big bag of dog food, laundry detergent or something big. By helping them on the floor I would tell them when you come up to the front ask for me and I will put this in your car for you. So despite the old man land bridge I was always able to get some cart out before the rushes.

So there ya go on my tips on bagging groceries and making money doing it. I always really enjoyed bagging groceries, hustling for tips and crushing my friends on our nightly tip contests.

Week 3 and Week 4

Losing momentum.

 

The last 2 weeks have really thrown my plans into a wreck. I would love to be posting how much awesome it was to conquer these weeks despite all the surroundings but that isnt the case. There is some good in the past 2 weeks which I will go over put there are some patterns that have to be fixed in short notice.

I really want to give you this long post about the past 2 weeks and give you all these things that make it seem better than it is. I feel like i am so ready to write a great blog about the silver lining.. But in my heart thats bullshit.

 

The truth is that for the past week despite waking up at my lowest at 211 the sunday before I blew the week. Plain and simple. It took me a couple of days to get rested from race directing and we had our son here from spring break. I really in my mind have cracked when it comes to the pressure of what others want. When others say they want dessert or pizza or sushi etc i have been toeing the line instead of refusing. For me toeing the line will always lead to failure and I know that. So this week was me trying to “fake it till i felt it”‘. I was banking on 2 long days of running sat/sunday to get me right and of course that is failure plan 101.

Taking days of accountability away and saying you will gain them back is a suckers game and I was the sucker this week. I was tired, rundown and honestly didnt sleep nearly enough. I have been napping, food grazing and not being mindful at all. So 2 things are going to happen this morning when i weight myself..

 

im gonna look at the number and remember how it got there or im going to feel sorry for myself and let it eat me up again..

We are day 27 of 110. And if the 211 held true i was 13 lbs down. Which is about 1/3rd of what i wanted to lose. So we arent in dire straights here but we are in the middle of the road where I need to getting better at this not throwing away weeks to shit i no better about.

I would normally set all of these huge goals for this week to motivate me and push me but i think this is a get back on the horse week. I need to just take it day by day again act like its day 1 when it all meant the world to me.

It sucks to be back in the cycle honestly. I recently say last year in august i was 214. for me another reminder that i really need to be working on the  6 inches between my ears more than anything.

I deserve to eat this.

I deserve to eat this.

As Rachel and I were coming home she told me that she wished in my blogs that I dug in a little deeper like I do at times on facebook about what hard days are. I had planned on doing an introspective blog once a week but missed last week so here it goes.

 

When i started losing weight a long time ago there was this really simple premise. Eat less and work out more. I didnt really worry about the small things or sweat the big ones. It was a 1-2 punch everyday and that was what worked. If it was tuna with mustand 3x a day or shitty lettuce salads with flavorless dressings. So along the way I became  “runner” which i think my first 5k i was like 280 lbs or something.

So after awhile of being a runner I started to develope this ” i deserve this food” mentality. Now this is still one of my #1 weaknesses as a runner today. I am constantly battling the ” i can have this because i did that” issue. So lets talk the TRUTH about it.

I think when we began to run a lot, crossfit, exercise or whatever it is you do you do have an increase in hunger. I mean i can tell you after lifting an hour or 2 in the gym i can feel the hanger coming on strong. But where I go wrong and i think many people do is that instead of eating exactly what we need to refuel we eat what we want to eat. Once we eat something totally shitty we tell ourselves that we deserved it. I will further dive in and add that I have done the same thing with rewards.

Rewarding ourselves in life with food is a cycle that can lead to damaging results as well. In my own life I have cut out most of the things that I turned to to satisfy my addictions. The only things that are left for me to “abuse” is food and exercise. While most people laugh about abusing exercising I know for a fact I have done it as well. If you are so consumed with weight that you are stuffing down food and then going out to hammer miles just to work the cake off you have a problem.

Food at the end of the day is a source of fuel for our bodies. The hard part is that we need it and we have to have it. So how do we stop this cycle and how do i personally do it.

I think this is the hardest thing for me to do when it comes to lose weight. I think i have 4-6 days in a row where i feel on top of the world. Im killing my diet, my miles and then someone says hey lets make nachos.. Or hey lets go grab a burger. My mind says ” go ahead Rob” you deserve that meal you have been working really hard. My mind says Rob rewards yourself man you are doing really well.

Shortly after the meal comes regret. Regret for eating too much, something completely off base from my diet or indulging too much into something. Shortly after regret the cycle start to form again. Once regret kicks in usually for me its a bit of im a failure mixed in with depression. So then the next day you get up feeling like total shit. You step on the scale and poof back above where you started just like that.

Pretty shitty cycle huh.

So how do we/I fix it? I think the challenge is to look at food differently and associate it in a new way. We should stop using food as a reward for exercising which will help to keep it from being a prize to go get. What if I rewarded my hard work with a charitable action? What if I rewarded myself with a massage or a day at the spa? Those kind of rewards keep my frame of mind correct and away from the cycle.

 

The other part is deserving food for working out hard or more. For me the only way to combat this is to track my calories and make commitments to eating healthy after runs. Part of the reason i have been pushing a more plant based diet is to eliminate the thoughts of many foods. I work better with either a black or white mentality vs a moderation type approach. I think if you are a person who can moderate foods easily then yours might be just to track what you are eating so that you can moderately consume without overindulging.

Needless to say this will and is the hardest part of exercising a lot and trying to lose weight. I think this is why a lot of runners gain weight while running more than they ever have before. Just because we run 3 hours surely dosent give us the right to knock down 2 plates of food and think we are even. The truth is that if we are trying to be healthy than what we put in our bodies after runs should be just as important as the runs themselves.

Hope this helps someone and just typing it makes me think more on how i can do better on this as well.

Day 16 of 110. #110for110